Finally, i get the chance to blog and pen down whatever that i've been keeping to myself. Actually though i could tell her and share with her but it seems impossible to tell her anything ever since this holidays start. Oh well, can't blame anyone about that...
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It have been a month, a month that you leave me and don't you know that its really hurts to lose our loved ones.
I love you so so much that i won't and couldn't deny that but why are you doing this to me. What happening to you and how are you right now i don't even know.
All i know is that i miss you soo much that i can't even focus in whatever i'm doing. As i'm typing this my left hand hurts...
I'm injured because i can't stop myself from thinking of you this past few days and the pain on my hand is not as pain as in my heart. I tried to accept the reality fact, i accept that although its very painful and its really hurts me.
Someone always told me to keep this faith stronger and i have learn lots of things from that someone...
Everyday when i wake up, starting my day and go on with my life, i try and try to keep this faith stronger. What should i do now?! Why do you do this to me? Its really hurts me so much...
You give me hope... You give me promises... But now, you give me empty promises and you're nowhere. I hate empty promises i hate it! You give me hope and i hope for it and i trust you but now i myself don't understand why....
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
I've learn something very useful
Yesterday went back to school in the morning for table-tennis from 9am-12pm. When its time we pack up and gather as the two teachers in-charge had something to tell us about the camp that is postpone to next month. During the training i'm quite slack as i'm very very tired on that day and very sleepy also, so i walk around quite sometime. Then i saw "Siao jie" going to toilet, walk towards her and i say "BOO" in a very low tone. She was damn shock right away she hug me and i'm also shock cause she suddenly hug me. Haha... She so funny and cute!! =)
I leave school with Vanessa and all the way from school to the mrt we were talking about someone for very long. Hmmm...as we were talking about that someone i'm starting feeling quite sad also cause next year will be very different from last year and this year. Oh well, we really had a nice chit chat together. After that the both of us take our on way she go home and i meet Ck for lunch. We had lunch at Long John Silver at amk as we're really sick of MacDonald's and KFC most of the time meet keep on eat the same thing.
After sometime we at amkhub we went back to school as Ck have workshop at 7pm-9pm. As we walking in the security guards say that Ck is out of bound from school and one of the security guard bring her to see Om. While i was told to wait outside the general office(GO) after Om talk to her we went to the canteen to sit the we change place to level four. Both of us went down to look for MK as i need him to help me in some stuff. Then went to his table and we chit chat while he do his works after that Ck got to go for the workshop and i follow her. I end up staying back cause the teachers need my help so i stay back and help out.
I have learn something very useful and i'm glad that i had the opportunity to join in the workshop. There's mayflower ex-student that came back for this workshop as this workshop is meant for them. This workshop is about mentors and the opposite is mentes. Its about how mentors face and help their mentes that have their own problems and need help. I get to listen to all the conversation and discussion i think its really a great opportunity. After the workshop end i take the opportunity to ask some questions to one of the councilors. I would like to share about this workshop to anyone that interested to.
Then i and Ck walk to the bus stop till we're in the bus we keep on sing and dance we're like a crazy pupil. Haha...we sing the song title "That thing you do" its a song that MK and his gang use for their performance for the MF charity dinner. Oh well, i really had a nice and enjoying day...=)
I leave school with Vanessa and all the way from school to the mrt we were talking about someone for very long. Hmmm...as we were talking about that someone i'm starting feeling quite sad also cause next year will be very different from last year and this year. Oh well, we really had a nice chit chat together. After that the both of us take our on way she go home and i meet Ck for lunch. We had lunch at Long John Silver at amk as we're really sick of MacDonald's and KFC most of the time meet keep on eat the same thing.
After sometime we at amkhub we went back to school as Ck have workshop at 7pm-9pm. As we walking in the security guards say that Ck is out of bound from school and one of the security guard bring her to see Om. While i was told to wait outside the general office(GO) after Om talk to her we went to the canteen to sit the we change place to level four. Both of us went down to look for MK as i need him to help me in some stuff. Then went to his table and we chit chat while he do his works after that Ck got to go for the workshop and i follow her. I end up staying back cause the teachers need my help so i stay back and help out.
I have learn something very useful and i'm glad that i had the opportunity to join in the workshop. There's mayflower ex-student that came back for this workshop as this workshop is meant for them. This workshop is about mentors and the opposite is mentes. Its about how mentors face and help their mentes that have their own problems and need help. I get to listen to all the conversation and discussion i think its really a great opportunity. After the workshop end i take the opportunity to ask some questions to one of the councilors. I would like to share about this workshop to anyone that interested to.
Then i and Ck walk to the bus stop till we're in the bus we keep on sing and dance we're like a crazy pupil. Haha...we sing the song title "That thing you do" its a song that MK and his gang use for their performance for the MF charity dinner. Oh well, i really had a nice and enjoying day...=)
Monday, November 10, 2008
Streaming result day
Today went back to school for streaming result and helping Hartaty with her math again as she really wanna study so that's why i'm willing to help her. So, early morning was supposed to meet her at eight o'clock but she's late cause waiting for Devi who the one that very late. Then delay the timing and i waited for half and hour but i'm not angry at her. Just that unhappy that she's not on time and anyway she's the one who gonna sit for the test so to me its all up to her to decide for her future. After waited for 30min's Sheryl and her dad came over so had breakfast with them and rush to school as its gonna rain heavily. Sheryl go for her follow-up thingy and i go meet the two girls that's very late.
The three of us went up to the library and i help Hartaty with her math. I explain to her which ever questions that she don't know how to do and don't understand. Then i think of a few questions and tell her to do it so that i know she understand whatever i explain to her. I think that's what normally my form-teacher cum math teacher do whenever we had a small group of remedial. Just do as what i think i should do and follow her patten also. Hehe... :) Then its almost time for us to go for the streaming talk and result. So we pack up then go out of the library to the venue for the streaming talk and after everyone settle down.
The teachers brief us and there's a paper which we need to sign and from that paper we also know we go to which class and which subjects will we be taking next year. So i'll be in 3Creative and be taking D&T and EBS next year. Most of the pupils are posted to 3C next year and my class gonna be the biggest class ever i guess. Also think next year my form teacher will be a male teacher and everything will be very different from the past. Hais....so sad that next year won't be the same as the past two years... But in the other hand i'm glad it won't be the same so that i don't have to see whatever happens from the past to years again. Honestly it really hurts me and its like a nightmare to me cause all that happens in the past two years happen again when i'm in sec2's beginning of the year. Now that everything gonna be very different i must try to get use to it... :)
The three of us went up to the library and i help Hartaty with her math. I explain to her which ever questions that she don't know how to do and don't understand. Then i think of a few questions and tell her to do it so that i know she understand whatever i explain to her. I think that's what normally my form-teacher cum math teacher do whenever we had a small group of remedial. Just do as what i think i should do and follow her patten also. Hehe... :) Then its almost time for us to go for the streaming talk and result. So we pack up then go out of the library to the venue for the streaming talk and after everyone settle down.
The teachers brief us and there's a paper which we need to sign and from that paper we also know we go to which class and which subjects will we be taking next year. So i'll be in 3Creative and be taking D&T and EBS next year. Most of the pupils are posted to 3C next year and my class gonna be the biggest class ever i guess. Also think next year my form teacher will be a male teacher and everything will be very different from the past. Hais....so sad that next year won't be the same as the past two years... But in the other hand i'm glad it won't be the same so that i don't have to see whatever happens from the past to years again. Honestly it really hurts me and its like a nightmare to me cause all that happens in the past two years happen again when i'm in sec2's beginning of the year. Now that everything gonna be very different i must try to get use to it... :)
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Confused!
Today i really forgot that there's some activity held at Padang which i have to go to then my friend call me and told me about it. Well, its not a good start also cause i don't wanna go for it but there's one of the staff tell me to go home if i don't wanna go for the activity and also told me that there's not enough pupil and yet i'm around but don't wanna go. I really feel so so guilty and at the same time i didn't inform my mum about that activity as i totally forgot about it. So decided to just go after thinking about it and went to general office (GO) to call my mum and let one of the male teacher talk to her and explain everything about the activity.
While we in the bus i was not in the mood and its really got nothing to do with anyone of them but its because i've been feeling like that for the past few days. Till today and right now i'm still feeling the same and i'm trying to let that feeling out from me. Its not that i'm unhappy with anyone of them or angry but i don't blame them cause maybe my action makes you pupil think that way. On Monday will be my streaming and my first day of ********. Which mean next year i won't and can't be like last year, this year, i can't help so much and give my full time in school's activities and also can't volunteer for anything that doesn't involve me.
Although next year i gonna be busy for lots of stuff i will always try my very best to put my studies and school things first. I'm sure some of the pupils in school will be wondering why i'm so busy that some of the activities i've to cut down but no matter what i can't tell those pupils my reasons. I think its really not nice if those pupils find out and i know one day they will find out about it but hopefully not from me but they know by themselves.
I was so confused of myself yesterday that i also can't understand why. After the whole thing at Padang we gather at the same place and there's a groups of Malay guys singing and they hit one of my school teacher (CCPE) and just keep singing don't even bother to apologise and i was staring at them as i'm really unhappy with their behaviour. Then my senior ask me who are they and i answer her out loud and just told her "Some outsides that's really very Rude!"
I'm so angry and after i claim myself i ask myself why am i so angry just because they hit her, the teacher when she herself didn't say anything about it. I'm confused cause i'm not only angry, unhappy but i'm also get so agitated at that point of time. When actually beginning of the day i had a small conflict with her. Hope there's someone out there can help me by explaining this confusing thing to me...
While we in the bus i was not in the mood and its really got nothing to do with anyone of them but its because i've been feeling like that for the past few days. Till today and right now i'm still feeling the same and i'm trying to let that feeling out from me. Its not that i'm unhappy with anyone of them or angry but i don't blame them cause maybe my action makes you pupil think that way. On Monday will be my streaming and my first day of ********. Which mean next year i won't and can't be like last year, this year, i can't help so much and give my full time in school's activities and also can't volunteer for anything that doesn't involve me.
Although next year i gonna be busy for lots of stuff i will always try my very best to put my studies and school things first. I'm sure some of the pupils in school will be wondering why i'm so busy that some of the activities i've to cut down but no matter what i can't tell those pupils my reasons. I think its really not nice if those pupils find out and i know one day they will find out about it but hopefully not from me but they know by themselves.
I was so confused of myself yesterday that i also can't understand why. After the whole thing at Padang we gather at the same place and there's a groups of Malay guys singing and they hit one of my school teacher (CCPE) and just keep singing don't even bother to apologise and i was staring at them as i'm really unhappy with their behaviour. Then my senior ask me who are they and i answer her out loud and just told her "Some outsides that's really very Rude!"
I'm so angry and after i claim myself i ask myself why am i so angry just because they hit her, the teacher when she herself didn't say anything about it. I'm confused cause i'm not only angry, unhappy but i'm also get so agitated at that point of time. When actually beginning of the day i had a small conflict with her. Hope there's someone out there can help me by explaining this confusing thing to me...
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Gosh...
Bastard!! What the hell you want from me...
I had enough from you and how many times do you wanna hurt me...
All the things you do its really irritating and i really Hate it!
Why can't you just get the hell out of my Life!
You're just a Bastard that very...
Irritating, Don't know how to appreciate, a big Liar and worse you're Heartless!
I don't know what the hell you want from me, can't you just stop your nonsense...
Without telling anyone and that including MC and MS...
I actually already feeling of forgiving you and you do it again!
After few months i start to feel forgiving you again and i don't know why i'm feeling like that...
But still you do it again and this time i can't take it anymore!
I Hate you, i don't wanna hear anything about you or even see you!
No more and its enough, enough of all this nonsense!
Nonsense from you that i have been facing since last year...
I had enough from you and how many times do you wanna hurt me...
All the things you do its really irritating and i really Hate it!
Why can't you just get the hell out of my Life!
You're just a Bastard that very...
Irritating, Don't know how to appreciate, a big Liar and worse you're Heartless!
I don't know what the hell you want from me, can't you just stop your nonsense...
Without telling anyone and that including MC and MS...
I actually already feeling of forgiving you and you do it again!
After few months i start to feel forgiving you again and i don't know why i'm feeling like that...
But still you do it again and this time i can't take it anymore!
I Hate you, i don't wanna hear anything about you or even see you!
No more and its enough, enough of all this nonsense!
Nonsense from you that i have been facing since last year...
Saturday, November 1, 2008
For You I Will
When you're feeling lost in the night
When you feel your world just ain't right
Call on me, I will be waiting
Count on me, I will be there
Anytime the times get too tough
Anytime your best ain't enough
I'll be the one to make it better
I'll be there to protect you, see you through
I'll be there, and there is nothing, I won't do
[Chorus]
I will cross the ocean for you
I will go and bring you the moon
I will be your hero, your strength
Anything you need
I will be the sun in your sky
I will light your way for all time
Promise you, for you I will
I will shield your heart from the rain
I won't let no harm come your way
Oh these arms will be your shelter
No these arms won't let you down
If there is a mountain to move
I will move that mountain for you
I'm here for you, I'm here forever
I will be your fortress, tall and strong
I'll keep you safe, I'll stand beside you, right or wrong
[Chorus]
For you I will, lay my life on the line
For you I will fight, hmmm, for you I will die
With every breath, with all my soul
I'll give my word, I'll give it all
Put your faith in me
And I'll do anything
[Chorus]
Promise you, for you I will
When you feel your world just ain't right
Call on me, I will be waiting
Count on me, I will be there
Anytime the times get too tough
Anytime your best ain't enough
I'll be the one to make it better
I'll be there to protect you, see you through
I'll be there, and there is nothing, I won't do
[Chorus]
I will cross the ocean for you
I will go and bring you the moon
I will be your hero, your strength
Anything you need
I will be the sun in your sky
I will light your way for all time
Promise you, for you I will
I will shield your heart from the rain
I won't let no harm come your way
Oh these arms will be your shelter
No these arms won't let you down
If there is a mountain to move
I will move that mountain for you
I'm here for you, I'm here forever
I will be your fortress, tall and strong
I'll keep you safe, I'll stand beside you, right or wrong
[Chorus]
For you I will, lay my life on the line
For you I will fight, hmmm, for you I will die
With every breath, with all my soul
I'll give my word, I'll give it all
Put your faith in me
And I'll do anything
[Chorus]
Promise you, for you I will
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