Sadness...

Gosh... Today i feel soo...sad, emotional and like a crazy girl. I don't know what will happen to me in future and as for today i went to tpy to make my spectacle. As i'm walking around the tpy central i keep on think about her and her all the while. I'm really worried about her but also trying to tell myself she will be fine. I ask her by msn but she never reply and few minutes later she offline. Hais...but nevermind think she should be okay. I really don't know what should i do, lots of things on my mind, lots of things happening but i'm still trying very hard to hang on...

Although all this really hurts me so so much but i know i still have to face all this... I don't know how to react when school re-open and to even face all the people around me in school. When we makes a person happy we will feel happy to and that is what most of the time i do and want to do. But now, can i even do all that, how can i help them, help others in need when i can't even help myself...

After choose my spectacle i went to amk to meet Ck, Ljs, his cousin and cousin friend. We went to play pool and from there i feel like a true human after feeling so so dead. Had fun playing and well me and Ck we're Noob in it but well as we go on playing we getting better. So i had fun with them and at least cheer myself up but also that night i'm still thinking of her. I just can't get her out of my mind and its really difficult. The more i try to get her out of my mind and more i think of her. Hmmm...its really hard to get someone who we feel attached to, to get out of our mind, heart and soul...

Bad Day

I don't know what's wrong with myself and this few days i seems to not or even realized what i'm doing. Its really a bad days for me especially yesterday when my phone been confiscated. Its already end of year and all the more i should help her and not give her more trouble. What the hell happening to me! Yesterday when she told me to help her do something, i help and make a mistake.

It shows how lousy and sux i am... After one of the incident how am i gonna go on with my life, i feel so so down, sad , tired, lousy, sux and discouraged!! I'm just useless! After all this i call and name myself as an Student Leaders Board! What kind of a leader i am! I really don't know what to do already, how long can i take it and i don't even know how to react now. Its really complicated and its always complicated. I look at her and i know she's very tired cause i heard she have not been sleeping well. I wanted to ask her is she ok at that point of time but i don't know why its very difficult for me to say out and ask. So i continue do what she told me to do and just keep everything to myself...

It's pathetic

Haiz...i really don't know what to do everything is pathetic...

What is it that i don't know?!

What is it that i don't understand?!

What is it about friendship and relationship?!


I experienced it before, i gone true all this before and how can i don't understand... Even when i don't understand it, i'll try to understand. Yes! Its hard and not easy to say out what's happening... I've try my best to always be there, to understand and do anything. But at the end of the day i'm still a human and have feelings to... Everything that happen is not what i want and nobody want it to be like this and i don't blame anyone. Why must all this happened, i'm so so tired about all this... I'm feeling very tired and discouraged... What should i do now, i'm really confused... I am very upset and worry bout my result, i can't hide or pretend that i'm happy when i'm not. Its natural if i feel very sad bout my result cause my result will shape my future and how can i don't feel upset about it when my result to me is bad...

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As i'm typing this i can't stop myself from tears... Its hurtful whenever to face this kind of situation but what can i do seeing her like that hurts me soo much. Well, this is also something that i must learn how to accept the situation cause its all her job. I'm just a normal girl and can't do anything bout it cause i'm just helpless in it. But of cause no matter what happen i'll always be by her side if she need my help. I'll always be happy to help her and hope to see her more relax after all the examinations....

Korean people came to school

Today the Korean people came to my school basically to know more bout Singapore education, bout our school. Was in school bout 9am, went up to the studio put my things there. Then one of the male teacher told one of my senior to take video while the Korean people, my school principle, vice-principle and some of the teachers in the conference room. So told him that i wanna follow my senior then we went down to the conference room took video and another male teacher, he taking pictures then ask me to help him with it cause he got something else to do. After all the conversations, they walk around the school and i took pictures there and here everywhere they go to. In order for me to take more pictures of them i have no choice but to run everywhere. Its very tiring but well, i enjoy it so so much.. :) Then the last place we went to the library to have lunch and all staff was there to welcome the Korean people. While i'm still taking pictures as they came into the library,take their foods and while they eating to. At that point of time "she" was standing right in front of me while i'm sitting. She turn look at me and gave her very sweet smile...Haha.. :p I told her that at last i see her smile, cause from the beginning i saw her she seems to be quite busy preparing and helping there and here for the foods to be serve to the Korean people, our principle, vice-principle and staff....

Saturday, 4th Octorber

Its a day that really makes me feel soo happy cause all my plan go on pretty well. Hopefully this year will be the most memorable birthday celebration for "you" and really hope you feel very happy bout all that happen on 4th october, i'm so so happy for you... :) I'll never forget everything that had happened between us in the past whether its the bad time or the good and happy time with you.. May all the happy times that i had with you will last long till the day i'm there in another world. I do really appreciate all that you had done and also appreciate having you in my life. Everything is getting better and i'm feeling happy about it... Now the most important is my EOY must really hundred percent focus for all the subjects especially math i must not let "you" down... Well, just hope that i'll pass my math and also other subjects as this is my streaming year...