A Simple Lifestyles

First Week @College West!

2011-01-21T23:03:00.004+08:00

First day in College West was pretty smooth and my classmate was pretty friendly i would say and as well the teachers of Fitness Training. Lessons been great for me but just need to be more focus and understand whatever the teachers are teaching us. But soo far i've been doing good in understanding the teachers i guess.hahas... I'm sure i will cope. InsyaAllah.=)

Now a week have already just past and though i gone through few difficulties in life such as, my wallet just lost past few days, at the same time my grandfather admitted to hospital again and feeling very stress but i would say i've been enjoying my life in school together with the people around me. I try to learn to take things easily and to be more relax but i knew that feeling of stress will always come back but it is up to me to handle it. I am feeling good now, just that feeling tired got to go hospital after school to visit my grandfather. May he get well soon and could be home again.

Taking things lightly/easily doesn't mean don't have to be worry about it at all.

New Year!

2011-01-14T23:43:00.004+08:00

It been a very long long time since the last post as my laptop charger had problem so have not been using the laptop till now. I am late for wishing New Year but 2011 have been pretty good start for me. Get new friends, new experience in ITE, new environment and many others.

So i was posted to Bishan ITE doing Product Design and that is my first choice, went for an interview as weel as i'm shortlisted and it was a success and here i am in Bishan ITE for the first week. My class is IPA and i love my class and the people around me. They're very friendly and we get bonded as a class in just few days after knowing each other. It's a memories to be remembered.=)

But, I made an appeal in College West for Fitness Training as that is the course that I've been wanting to go to since I am in secondary 3. So i have a very kind teacher who knew me well, she helped me alot! So i went for an interview recently and the interview was a success as well. I am very very thankful! For that i need to go for check up and afterwards I'll get the results and go down to College West to summit all the documents needed and will start schooling there as soon as possible.

*Would like to Thank all Teachers, Family and friends for all the support especially to those who feel very happy for me. I will give my best in keeping my words whatever i have had told both of them.=))

Even if you knew the chances are slim, never ever stop giving your best till the very end.

Graduation 24/9

2010-09-27T19:57:00.004+08:00

It's a history of mine in Mayflower Secondary School. I'm not a good student nor I'm the smart one either, I'm just the ordinary student who love the school very much that most teachers, staff in school knew it or even the school's partners knew me. In this 4years of mine, I've given the opportunity to get involved in many many activities in school.

My memories in my secondary school life will always be remembered and i will not forget my teachers especially those who have seen me for more than 2years and have been helping me in many ways and made me be who i am today. I am strongly agreed with my primary 6 form teacher that, secondary school life is a life that you never wanna miss it. The time passers real fast without realizing it and i officially graduated from my secondary school and it has been always a great experience with each and everyone of Mayflower Secondary School.

The memories we had whether the good ones or the bad ones will always be remembered.

N level prelim

2010-09-03T20:15:00.005+08:00

Today finally we get back our report book, I'm not very pleased with my results however still puts on smiles because in the past years i used to cry, feel extremely sad etc... But all that was back then when I'm in primary school or even secondary one. Now that I'm mature enough to know how should and shouldn't i be reacting, I've learn to take things calmly with sense of maturity even though like i said I'm not pleased with my own results.

To act with stupidity is just gonna embarrass yourself that was what in my mind and chose to just stay calm no matter whatever the results gonna be. Because i knew it's already past and nothing could change even if i react badly but i also knew there's always room for a better and to improve myself.

To act with stupidity is not the solutions to whatever reason, but we must learn from our mistakes and start to improve ourselves instead.

Break

2010-08-31T22:36:00.004+08:00

Again after months then i now finally updated my blog and i was thinking to update once i get my report book for N level preliminary but I've not get my report book but my results are out and to me it is all disappointment and more to be improve.

Even thought it's a disappointment i won't brook over it but i will give my very best to focus and do well for my N level examinations that will be in just less than 1week time. Don't really have confident but i will give my best and will put back everything that could affect my performance.

Problems is never a reason for us to have bad performance in our life.

Dialogue in The Dark

2010-07-06T21:03:00.004+08:00

Today we went to Ngee Ann Polytechnic for "Dialogue in The Dark" to experience the blind handicaps lifestyles each and everyday. How they been through their daily life without their version, how they actually know how to different shape packet drinks,money or even crossing the traffic light and many more. That are some stuffs we learn but despite all that basic stuffs, the most important thing is that we gone through how they been through and feel it with our own capabilities exactly.

So the first activity is where we sit tog with some other groups while some others went into the room where we experience the darkness. The activity is that we have to pick a theme whether it is, songs or movies and once we pick one we read it and have to draw it with blind folded. After the person done with drawing the rest have to guess what is it and that person have to pass to another person. As we move on the instructors mention my name and chose me to go up there to continue with the activity so you can call that as sabotage.hahas...

When it comes to my group, we have to sanitizer's our hands before moving in and listen to instructions from one of the instructors there. It's important to listen clearly to the instructions so that we would be clear of what we should and shouldn't be doing in there. I'm the first to step into that place of super darkness and my feelings was like very scary as that is my first time but yet very excited to explore everything in there. Mr. Wesley is our blind handicap guide who is professionally trained, he gonna be the one and only who will guide us through out the journey and we will only could, smell, hear, feel, name it but not our version.

Basically, we could ride the boat, feel the water, crossing the traffic light, walking through the bridge, touching a car, could hear the birds sounds, the river, going into the super market getting to touch the stuffs around, there's also a cafe where we could order drinks or snacks and everything in there are 100% real!!=D To wrapped up, i feel really amazed and inspired how they the blind handicaps are very confident of their destinations. I strongly encourage everyone who are interested to go for it. The price for adult is $20 and for children $12, it's worth it.

No matter where you're standing right now, never ever underestimate yourself.=))

Bored

2010-06-26T17:38:00.004+08:00

So currently updating my blog in National Library in NorthPoint. This week as i mention in my previous post I'll be going to grandma place and i went there my sisters was feeling very happy to see me and spending time with them. Nothing much though as everyday is just almost the same nothing change.

Then about 5plus leave the library to meet up with bestfriend since she's around the corner and it's near my house. Meet up with her had a chat a for a while as she got to go and i went back home about 7plus reach home. I was quite bored though but went back home and use lappy, watch videos on youtube and i even stayed up to 4am. So basically that's that will be back with other posts.

Patient is the word key today, with it we will feel calm no matter what come across us.

My day today

2010-06-17T20:45:00.006+08:00

So for the past days, weeks been going back school till tomorrow my June holidays finally start. But still i knew my artifact still need some time to be done as there are still numbers of things got to do, once everything is done i will take a picture of it and post it on blog and facebook.

I'll be going to my another grandma place in Aljunied and I'll be staying over from this coming Monday to the up coming Thursday. Will be spending that moments together with my two lovely twins sisters Kartina & Kartika and will take their pictures as well. Excited to see them next week, especially how they welcome me before i even step into the house each time i go there to visit all of them. Hahahas....thinking about it makes me really miss them... =))

Today my grandma cooked "Asam Pedas" syiok sia!! Hahas... One of my favorite dish out of other many dishes as i really love foods but unfortunately at times i see some foods outside looks interesting i won't be able to eat it because it's not Halal. :( Hmms...nevermind i will still have some other foods that's halal. So i won't be updating till I'm back from grandma place.

Lastly, I will definitely miss someone very much, after tomorrow gonna be like our first time not meeting each other for quite a numbers of days when we use to meet almost everyday without fail. Gonna miss you Bestfriend.=))

When someone hurt you, don't be too angry, don't hate that person for the rest of your life, But remember that, at least he/she ever makes you feel happy before.

Fresh Start

2010-06-15T20:52:00.006+08:00

Well, well, well.... It been months since the last time i updated my blog so decided to reopen this blog again. Life, guess i could say it been like an roller coaster? In life definitely there is up and down but i must say everything are just control able and still in hand. I'm glad that no matter what comes across me, any obstacles that i have to go through, i gone through it with patient, calm and positive mind-set.

So, the latest updates in my life is mid-year-exams, which i think whoever had a high expectations of me definitely disappointed of me but i still got two chances left to improved myself in many many ways especially my studies.

Lastly, i will try to always end my post with something i learn, that i wanna share on my mind.

Never think too high of ourselves and try to tell others about their facts but tell ourselves instead. Because no one is perfect but we knew ourselves better then anyone else in the world. =))

One Month Plus

2010-02-21T23:16:00.002+08:00

It been pretty long since the last post which is last month and here I'm back again to update my blog. I'm not sure how am i gonna start to say about my Life lately but guess everything are still under control no matter what difficulties or happiness i gone through. Nothing is easy in life, no matter how hard or easy it is we still got to face it and not to run away from it.

My experience in life that I've shared with some pupils that i trust and feel comfortable talking to and one of them is my school full-time counselor (Mrs. John). Seldom do i turn to her instead of two pupil in school that i trust the most and it's all because of some reasons of myself that not to mention here. Mrs. John said that i been carrying burdens on me for a long time and at my age to carry such burdens takes lots of energy and I'm very mature to handle all that and that is what she said, something like that i guess.

The maturity of mine are all base of my experience in life for 15years plus and soon 16years. Some stuffs about my life here, i been working since I'm 14years old ever since i came from single parent and mum is my mother and father. I started working and some people may think i shouldn't be working at my age and should be focusing with my studies now especially this year as I'm sitting for my N level. But honestly no one knows how i have been going through my life all this while. It's very tough but i still go through it and at times i feel very tired but i still have to move on.

I definitely have a choice whether i wanna work or not but i have to work to support myself in order to give some help to my mum as she's alone to pay all the bills and to raise me up all alone by herselves. Just like what i said it's very tough for me but i still have to go through it because offend i try to remind myself that there are people out there who are going through their life even worst compared to me.

2010, A matter of Choice

2010-01-16T18:59:00.004+08:00

It's my very first post for 2010 and life been great for the first two weeks. Think i can put it that way and don't wish to talk much about my first week in school. Hence, I'm definitely gonna make the best choice for this year as I'm sitting for N level in few months time and of course it's my last year for secondary school life. Time really flies isn't it? Hmms...it's very fast that I'm turning sixteen years old in April and sitting for N level and the results will tell me, brings me to my next step of life.

Feeling scared will definitely appear in me but i just knew that i will and must work very hard in order to get to the course i want in ITE when i move on after my N level. I knew what exactly i want and so i will work towards it from now on. I can't afford to wait any longer to get started because three minutes count and in that period of minutes any changes can take place...

Two weeks of school so far so good, I'm coping with my studies as well as my other activities and taking this year even more serious. I try my best to remind myself to Take one Step at a Time, whenever I'm up to something or doing anything. I'm just feeling very tired, not getting enough sleep sometimes and have difficulty waking up every morning BUT, that won't be the reason for me to not going to school as not turning up to school is just not me and i think everyone knows that. So that's all i got to say about the two weeks of school i guess.

Table-Tennis Camp

2009-12-18T01:33:00.011+08:00

Last week on the 9,10,11th of December, that's when we had our Table-Tennis camp in school. There are 10 committees and total of 36 member that turn up for the camp. I can say this camp actually trying to tell us that we got to be discipline at all times as i think Table-Tennis team are lack in and of course more things that we could learn from one another and at the same time enjoy ourselves.

Day one, the committees have to be serious with all of them for the start and of course there's pupils late for the camp then punishment given. Basically, both captain Jasmine and Desmond got to tell them what are the expectations of them in the camp for three days two nights and then we had our ice-breakers like getting to know one another better and we also had our 200seconds challenge by the teachers. Actually for day one nothing much happening, in the afternoon we start our training at about 3pm to 6pm then bathe, had our dinner and lastly Movie chose by the teachers. A great movie that is strongly recommended to all.

Day two, everyone are suppose to gather at the foyer by 7:30am sharp but however some pupils are late including the committees and so we got to do our punishment together because as mention in day one “One for All, All for One”. So we got to do half squat, push up and sit up over and over as when Jasmine ask them questions they seems like not answering. Afterwards, we move on with our morning PT by running around the school four times and some walk by themselves due to their own reasons. Honestly, during the jog i feel like wanna vomit but i control myself, it really shows me how i really slack a lot as I've not been training all this while. So after jogging we go for our breakfast and i don't wish to eat has i never eat after my jog or any other sports activities but been force to eat a bread.

After breakfast we move on with our wet activity, all committees are suppose to set up all the stations while the rest of them get their dry clothes and get back to the canteen. There's lots of delay in between as we're thinking about their safety during the activities but after all everyone had fun playing with the water that been tie up with the plastic. Most of them keep taking and throw it to everyone around and that including our teacher Ms. Chew that join us in the activities as well and then everyone go wash up get ready for lunch and training at 2pm to 6pm. After training we had our dinner and get ready for our Appreciation Night to our teachers and seniors that turn up. All of us had fun during the night and being very hyper that they dance around in the I&E studio. Then we had our night walk at about 1am to 3am then everyone goes back to sleep.

Day three wake up at 7:30am, we had our PT again and fortunately no one late and we continue with our stretching and jog around school for one round. No one are suppose to walk but Jasmine was mad as there's pupils who walk and while i turn jog back to get two girls that are left behind as they're walking again because of their own reasons. Then it's my favorite session it's the Tchoukball activity then we played till 12:30pm. Then get ready for our training and our friendly match with one of the secondary i forgot already which school. I played match once and i won but think my opponent, his such a joker that he didn't play properly and keep making mistakes. So everything end at about 5plus and i wait for Chanel to go dinner together. Get home bathe and right away i sleep till the next day as I'm feeling very tired. So there's all about the Camp and good job to Jasmine and the rest of the committees member. =)

Tchoukball Carnival @ R.P

2009-11-14T23:39:00.009+08:00

Some may ask what kind of sport is Tchoukball but some will definitely know what is it, how to play and rules of the sport. So two days before the carnival which is on the 12th Nov we had first time training for about two hours at Ping Yi Secondary School and been coach by Mr. Rezal and our teacher in-charge is Ms. Chew. To me it's a great sport compared to other kind of sports that are common among us and i get to know this sport just recently this year that same goes to some of the Mayflowerians and some Teachers. Getting familiar and being active in this sport and some of Mayflowerians actually take part in competitions recently this year.

After i get to know this sport, getting a chance to play in school then take part like this carnival which been organised by the Republic Polytechnic students. I'm soo excited whenever i get a chance to play, even taking part in competitions and continue with this sport whenever there's a chance given. As next year i will be sitting for my N level i have to cut down some of the activities ahead to focus more to my studies next year onwards and while I'm there at R.P Ms. Chew actually ask and find out for me that there's Tchoukball in Simei ITE which i really wish to go to that ITE when i graduate from Mayflower so that shows that i could continue play Tchoukball if i qualify to Simei ITE in 2011.

However, many people wish to go to Simei ITE as well, as i think it's because this ITE is a very good compared to others. But no matter what it takes, i will really gonna work very hard towards my goals and give my very best to get into Simei ITE. I believe there's a chance for me to get in but all that will also base on my studies and performance in school now. To me it's important for us to think and plan for our future so that we will not regret with all the decision we make. I think one thing that I've had learn from someone i knew is that, it's always good to think and plan for our future even if at this age of 15 years old we're thinking about our career ahead as we at least have a goals and can work towards it... =)

SLB 4D3N Camp

2009-11-05T19:20:00.010+08:00

I went to Student Leader camp last Friday, it's four days three nights on 30th Oct-2nd Nov been held at Changi Coast Adventure. This camp or retreat of course about leadership and of course each and everyone of us do learn some new leadership qualities. On Friday school end at 10am and we SLs got to assemble outside 1E classroom at 2pm and i got four hours free time. I followed Sheryl go home as she's not done with packing her bag then i called my grandma she told me to come over to her place at Aljunied which it's very far and so i did went there, had my lunch and dad give $50 and about 12plus i left walk to mrt zoom to school and reach on time before 2pm.

So day one, as soon as i reach there mark attendance and get to know I'm in group two together with Sheryl, Wen Xi and others sadly Jasmine not in my group but wait for day two she joined our group. Then all the instructors came and we start with ice-breakers get to know each other in group two and as well as our instructor Augustine. First day for me was really very very bored that i really don't feel like doing anything. Till when we going for our lunch, i walked pass the teachers Mrs. Sidhu saw me and asked "You sick ah?" i shake my head and said "No." Even when I'm queuing for my food one the girl instructor asked me what's wrong, am i not feeling well. i told her "No, I'm fine." Then she said is it because I'm already in the holidays mood but i told her again no but i really feel bored and will try my best to get into the mood. After dinner we had opening speech conducted by our principal Mrs. Lim for few hours then supper and lights off.

Day 2, wake up, gathered for breakfast and our very first activity was the rock climbing but we got to climb with blink folded. I feel quite happy and getting into the mood early in the morning compared to day one. Excited with the land activities plus we will be having sea activity to and best part I'm no longer scared of the sea. =) After rock climbing moving on with our lunch then our next activity was improvised raft and rowed it to the sea. After all the activities we went to bathe, after bathing been punished to do, half squat, push ups, crunchers because some of them didn't tuck in their shirts and they were made to look at us while we been punished. Afterwards, we go for our dinner and had talk this time conducted by Mrs. Sidhu and then our land instructor take over. We are given map and got to think how we gonna walk from west to east the next day and i was like half asleep as I'm really very tired same as the others they're feeling very sleepy.

Day 3 Land Expedition, took my Nike waist pouch which my mum brought for me on Thursday and it's blue again. Hehe...everything also blue... =D We had our breakfast then settle down get back to our own departments as we will be walking together with our department teacher as well. I'm in Resource Department and teacher in-charge is Ms. Tang but she's not feeling well to follow us for the land expedition so Ms. Tan replace her. If i gonna talk about the expedition definitely there will be no ending but through out the expedition we do had fun, laughter and when my department walking together with other department which Ms. Suhaila is in-charge and Ms. Chew just tag along with her i suddenly find out that Ms. Suhaila became lame when she together with Ms. Chew lamest teacher. Both of them actually showed me their lame part together by doing the so called their A,B,C rep. Mygosh...I'm really speechless and just laugh about it and their reaction doing the rep really funny... Hahahas... Moving on we had our lunch at the army market then one of the sec1 guy decide to stop his journey with us there and our instructor get Chief J to pick him up and go back to the campsite. When we continue our journey, we encourage each other to keep going and we aim to reach on time. We're suppose to be back by 6pm and from our team work, we reach really on the dot at 6pm and was made to walk into the campsite holding each other hands while doing a cheer...

After that we bathe, next Student Wellness came back with Ms. Chew without Ms. Suhaila as they left Ms. Suhaila behind and i don't know how on earth that happened. Then our Camp Chief J talk to us the four group that came back earlier, she said that there's another two more group still at east coast making their way to the campsite and another group been punished by instructor Akashah i don't know why they been punished but we the four group joined them with the punishment because we believe "One for All, All for One" and then we walk back till we meet up with the group that left behind and walk back together. That night we been told that we're the first school to walk that far and also our teachers have had prepared our dinner and ice-cream for us. Then some others SLs and myself pack our bag to go home sweet home that night as some got lessons or personal reasons.

After all this is my last time going for SL's camp as next year will be my last year in Mayflower and will be sitting for my N level. Thought first day i feel very bored but i believe I've had learn lots of leadership qualities which will definitely help me in future to be a great leader ahead or at least help me to discipline myself. Soon, i will feel that my time in Mayflower Secondary is very fast and time really flies fast. Of course i can't deny it that i will definitely miss my secondary school life, people around me, my teachers especially those who have been always helping me no matter how my actions towards them sometimes. I think they believe and knew that i can change to be a better person ahead and that's why they never give up to help me. In fact, they also help other students that they think this student needs help, they're very caring teachers where i believe i will never see this kind of teachers after i leave my secondary school even one of the teacher that leaving the school next year told me the same that Mayflower teachers are very caring... =)

EOY results

2009-11-02T21:40:00.006+08:00

It been another long update again this time since the last time i update my blog and here it goes again. My results this time really made me feel very very happy and satisfied about it. I think i also made some people very proud and not disappointed of me. Am i right?.. Especially for math, i improved a lot this time that i passed very well and out of my expectation that i get A for it. So in report book think all subject teachers commented about which i will be typing down later what each and every teachers comment about me.

Now about my results i passed almost all subjects except for Elements of Business Skills (EBS) and i got total of six subjects. I did pretty well for most of the subjects and now for my exact marks and grade in report book for all subjects are:

Subjects: Mark: Grade:

English: 59 D

Basic Malay: 72 B
Mathematics: 71 B
Computer Applications: 50 D
Design & Technology : 70 B
Elements of Business Skills: 52 D

This comments are from my form and co-form teachers.

Comments: Kartini is a dependable student leader who is always ever-willing to carry out duties assigned to her. She is a positive influence to her peers as she is often seen encouraging them in their studies and showing concern. Academically, she puts in consistent and great effort to achieve her dreams.

As for now will be the subject teachers comments.

Subjects Name: Remarks:

Basic Malay: Kartini is well-behaved and clever. She is good in her Basic Malay too.

Mathematics: Kartini strives very hard to make personal improvements so as to achieve better results in Mathematics. Her enthusiasm and perseverance is highly commendable. Keep it up!

Computer Applications: Kartini exhibits a high level of enthusiasm and shows lots of initiative.

Design & Technology: Full of zest to learn, Kartini puts in a lot of effort to produce good quality work. Given her present motivation towards learning, she has the potential to do well in the subject.

Elements of Business Skills: Kartini is bubbly and responsive. She has the potential to do much better if she applies herself to work assigned.

CCA Remarks: Kartini is a determined player who puts in her best at every training session. Her hard work and perseverance have led to the rapid improvement in her skills. Keep up the goo work!

So this are the comments in my report book, think i have had improved a lot and my hard work has paid off. Now i will still and work even harder to improve my studies no matter what it takes, to achieve my goals and to be a better person ahead. I just knew what i want and what are my goals for the future and i definitely gonna work really very hard to achieve it no matter what it takes or come across me... =)

It been very long...

2009-10-03T21:46:00.014+08:00

Since my last post, guess been very busy with stuff and especially now it's exams period. So firstly some update about my DNT stuff, I'm done with the product, it's really well done and in fact my DNT teacher wanted to take that as my 'N' level but told her that i don't want as i wanna do something better and improve in it. Now the bad thing that actually made me cry is that i lost my DNT file which contain a lot lots of hard works that i had done since the first day of the lesson. I cry because i really give my hundred percent and put my heart & soul whenever it comes to DNT. I really don't know how it go missing but definitely I'm not blaming or accusing anyone and only He knows. Now i also have to do everything all over again and as for now only the journal as my teacher want it and i really got no much time as Monday is the deadline and i am soo dead! I will get zero if i didn't give it to my teacher on Monday.

So EOY start last Monday which is 28th September as usual language come first so my first paper was English. I'm done with English both papers, Math paper 1 and CPA and left with Elements of Business Skills (EBS), Math paper 2, DNT, think thats all that I'm left with. Really gotta do my very best and tomorrow most probably going out to study. Been study, feeling quite stress sometimes but still doing pretty well and trying my best to be relax and not be too stress up. Anyway, after all the papers i will just relax my mind not gonna be stress up thinking about the results soo much though it's scary when think about it.

Now about last Friday, it is really a very last minute plan and quite embarrassing to i can say. Last year had MacDonald's and this year kopitiam... Hahahas... But had fun, though just a small simple one... Hopes that she's enjoy as well and didn't know that she was really expecting something from me! Hahas... Oh well, I'm so gonna get it done by tomorrow night and as for tonight gonna stay up and try my very best to get it done. It's worth it staying up for this and though i know this is just something simple but it means a lot... =)

DNT Garden competiton @ S.P

2009-09-13T21:46:00.010+08:00

It been quite long since my last post as i have been busy with my Design and Technology(DNT) projects and maths remedial but mostly DNT as compared to maths remedial it's just once in awhile. Now I'm down with one and think got about two more projects which is my very own product for DNT lesson and the other one is the Thinking Skill lesson project. Well, it don't really makes me feel stress up for being very busy with school projects, activities but what I'm thinking now, i really must finish up my DNT project as the deadline actually supposed to be last two week Friday and i should be done with it by now. But I'm not done because i got to do the garden competition project first as the deadline was last Thursday and of course I'm done with that by now.

So last week was supposedly having one week holiday but to bad for me and Farina as we actually got to go back to school everyday since morning till late afternoon to do the garden projects we really got not much time left and that's why we go back school everyday. Actually pretty disappointed with some pupils that didn't turn up and don't have the responsibility to at least inform that they not coming, just don't wanna name them as it won't be nice, now shall skip about that. So, theres me, Farina and of course our "Lady Boss" hehe... really had fun with both of them. It's very tiring, very sleepy but we manage to finish up everything and bring all the stuff that we got to summit to Singapore Polytechnic last Thursday.

Thursday was the most fun day i had in that week, as we had fun, laughter, lame jokes, so after to bring everything there and give it to them the Singapore Polytechnic student after that we make a move, deciding where should we go for break fast but all Faina and myself said was "Anything". Hahahas... So in the end we had our break fast at "Secret Recipes" our lady boss ordered her "Sparkling" for her drink and each time she drinking i was like saying "Sparklingsss..." hahahas...then that's when we start laughing... But before that from Singapore Polytechnic we went to Raffles Place sit in front of the Merlion, guess what, soo many people trying to post as if they're opening their mouth together with the merlion "vomit" and two of them beside me was like spotting who else trying to post like that. Hahas...funny sehh... After all the hard work, we really had fun together... =)

OBS! 17 Aug- 21 Aug 2009

2009-08-24T05:47:00.012+08:00

Let me start with some quote that i learn from OBS.
"NO MAN IS AN ISLAND"
"YOUR TEAM IS IMPORTANT"
"THE DESTINATION IS THE GOAL"
"IF YOU FAIL TO PLAN , YOU PLAN TO FAIL"
"THROUGH HARDSHIP , YOUR COLOURS APPEARS"

OBS was very very fun and lot lots of learning points to and never can i deny it that actually OBS have made an impact in me. I've had learn many things through this camp or in the other hand it's a course and besides all the learning points it also helps me to overcome my fears that have been in me for years and it also have lots of emotions involved to. I really love OBS now and of course my team, my group, the hyper ones, the joker ones and lots more. I really appreciate the opportunity and privilege that's given to me instead of being in school all the time and I'm definitely will apply it in my life.

Day one basically we start to introducing ourselves, like our name of course, from which school, what's our cca and what do we expect at the end of this camp/course. So there's sixteenth of us from other schools in the group, they're myself, Ameerul, Jocelyn, Jonavan, Amirul Ashraf, Ashraf, Syed, Glen, Gerald, Clive, Li Ping, Wei Zhen, Aliah, Zakiah, Rachel, Khaliesah and of course our great instructor Charles. Besides introducing each other we also need i/c for different activities and i/c of the day and I'm the Land i/c my partner for Land i/c were Zakiah. Charles told us this the first time he see two girls be the Land i/c so garang. Hahaha... Garang right...=)

Day two and day three, we paddle to Ketam Island as we got no much time to paddle all the way to Kampong Mamam so we had our night there at Ketam Island. Next day we actually reach two hours plus earlier from our set time. As everyone paddle i had sea-sick, headache and my group have to paddle all the way while I'm resting as i really can't help it. Finally our night at Kampong Mamam I'm really Thankful to all of them as because of them I'm able to move on with the journey and even most importantly overcome my fears. We had maggi mee for our dinner and some cans foods. It's tiring but at the same time we do had fun, laughter, the lame jokes by Ameerul and every night fill with happiness.

Day four we have to walk for about 15km from Kampong Mamam to our campsite one and i am so glad that some of them know exactly how to use the map and lead the way as Zakiah and myself we both really not sure. It's really very tiring as we got to carry big bags and so many other things as well and we did not give up instead perseverance, endurance and the support from one another that give each an everyone of us strength to keep going till the end. We go through the thick and thin together in all the five days and no matter what happen care and concern are shown to everyone. So the most fun when we reach the campsite everyone of us get the chance to go for jetty jump even those who feel scared and non-swimmer.

Lastly day five, we wake up and have had our pity with the instructors, then our breakfast. Most of us was super emotional as it's the last day of the course/camp, our last time having breakfast together and we may not see each other again. However, we do take pictures together and exchange our details. Our activity of the day is about commitment, where we think of our commitment and when we're ready we're suppose to jump and hit the bell and I'm the only girl that hit the bell so hard that actually made my fingers hurt. It was pretty emotional i can say as when everyone doing it, it was in a serious mood and i guess we really mean it a lot when we try to hit the bell. So after all, all of us had fun in this five days four nights together and we do keep in touch with each other. It's was really Awesome! I really love this course/camp...=)

Common Test Term 3

2009-08-16T01:08:00.009+08:00

Finally it is end of my common test for term 3, i had English, MT on Tuesday, Math, Computer Application (CPA) on Wednesday, lastly my DNT on Thursday and that's end of common test five papers for three days. I guess i was well prepared for this common test as i have the confident that i will pass most of my subjects but i think i will fail my DNT and CPA as i am totally blur and not sure. Now i only know that i passed my Math as my teacher told me, satisfied and happy but still very curious about my marks. I was very very sure and confident that i will pass my math when i start doing the math paper and actually while doing the paper i was smiling to myself. Hehe...=)

Then English and MT, i am confident for both subjects also as weeks before common test my English teacher which is my form-teacher as well, gave us lot lots of practice, MT i don't really study MT just read books but normally i passed hopefully I'll pass as my MT actually getting worse. Now, as for DNT and CPA i am really not sure while doing the papers, no confident to pass, sure fail but i still have one last chance for all subjects and that's for my end-of-year exams. I must really buck up and work extra harder this time for all subjects and just one year plus to go for my 'N' level next year. So fast i in sec3 already, time pass really very fast...

Now, I'm just counting down to Monday for Outward Bound Singapore (OBS)!! Wooo... Hooo... I am super duper egg-cited about this OBS, someone told me it is good for me as i will learn more things and will never regret going for this camp and so, Of Course i believe la... Haha... I will be away from home and school for 5days! Hurhur...first time but love it at least can release some stress and relax... When I'm back in school in two weeks time from now i will start doing my DNT project with my group but they will start doing it while I'm away, got lot lots of ideas in mind and if this project goes smoothly i plan to bring this proposal up to my principle to make it reality i guess, why not right.(InsyaAllah) Then also will continue with my own DNT design i guess it is creative and lastly teachers day. So i will update about the OBS when I'm back and about everything that's going on. Oh ya, about my little cousin, his getting better and recovering...=)

Emotional

2009-08-03T22:15:00.011+08:00

It been three years of me in my secondary school life and it took me three years plus to learn to control my emotions. I have been trying my best to control my emotions and i guess i have had improved controlling, managing my emotions well. It is not easy to control emotions for me as i am very bad at it in the past when I'm in my primary school. I started to learn controlling my emotions when I'm 12 years in my primary six, but i fail to control my emotions for long, as when I'm in sec1 i became very hot temper, very emotional etc... After all that, there's once i try to learn to control my emotions again as someone told me that, as a student leader i have to learn to control my emotions well and i knew that it is also important for me to control it, not only for now but also in future.

Today i supposed to help for the last two period but I'm not helping and not even cooperating. Hais...i try my very best to control my emotions but suddenly something just really irritate me and i get very very irritated by it. I seriously don't know what to say about it, i mean everything is my choice, my business and not others. Whatever i do there's consequences to it and if i have to be punish I'll take up the consequences and won't run away from it. I'm not trying to be selfish or something but in this situation i guess i have the choice and i make up my mind for my choice. Am i being emotional by that behaviour, action...hais...

There's soo many to say actually and i put a side my laziness and i type so so long and yet it suddenly gone just like that. I am soo frustrated and so tired now so I'm just cutting it really very short. Hais... So went to KKH just now to visit my cousin just 2years plus, he admitted to hospital last night as his mom doing his milk he grab a pot of hot coffee and his right body, right leg and a bit at his arm. But my aunt said that it is not that serious and I'm glad to hear that and hope he recover really soon. Hais...it is really sad to see him go through all the pain himself at his age now. Afiq, that's what my family call him and here are some pictures
of him that i took.

Being part of SLB

2009-07-31T21:23:00.004+08:00

Today i was late for school but NOT on purpose can! Hais...but still can't blame anyone or anything but myself for being late today. I took cab down to school though i know i still late for school but i just don't want to be very late as, if i am very very late i won't be able to go back to classroom for my lesson and must sit at the detention corner. When we, the late comers are allowed to go back to our class for lessons the SLB coordinator teacher ask me how many time I've been late for school this term, i said i don't know cause i can't really remember but now i realized i was late for 2 time this term.

I was not in the mood actually as i am very tired and still sleepy and know that it is my fault for being late today as i slept quite late last night doing my DNT assignment but I'm not blaming anything. The coordinator, she also said that if it gonna be the fourth time i should know what will happen, but actually i don't know till i ask one of my teacher Ms. Suhaila and she said I'll be under probation as a SL if i late fourth time. I'm not sure why but after she (coordinator) talk to me i suddenly feel like under probation for the second time and sure this time if i under probation i confirm out from the SLB and i just feel like can't be bother about it anymore. She the one who nominated me and if she's also the one who get me out from the SLB i don't mind, don't care anymore, i just can't be bother anymore. I know i shouldn't say this... Hais....

It been three years I've been an SL, actually at first i don't wanna be SL but the courage from others was making me decided to just go for it. Yes, i can't deny it that being part of the SLB actually not that bad besides of the consequences, rules, etc.. theres also lot lot lots of benefits, privilege given and mostly learning points. Hmmm...i just don't know why but sometime I'm just sick and really very tired of pupils saying that, "You're an SL, you should show good examples." or "You're supposed to show good example." Hais...sometime i just wish i could be just a normal student, but i didn't say that if I'm a normal student i have the right to break the rules, rules are rules. Being part of SLB is a big responsibility and carrying this big responsibility sometime quite stress i guess or maybe it is just how we wanna take up and face the responsibilities given to us.

Semester 2

2009-07-24T00:34:00.006+08:00

It been long since the last post and now here i am blogging again but nothing much to say... Actually wanted to post but keep feeling lazy and plus i don't really got the mood to blog. So semester 2 i have been going home early especially the first two weeks straight after school i go home and no longer stay in school till soo late. Someone keep pestering me why i suddenly now right after school straight the way go home. Seriously no reason la dehh...it is really bored and nothing to do, just simple as that for your answer.

Since Monday till today it have been such a bad days in school which i really hate it so much and also feeling a bit of depressed because of my feelings this days especially today. But i do try my very best to control it and always stay calm no matter what happen, whether i like the situation or not i am still trying very very hard controlling this emotions even if it hurts me soo much...

Who are they to me?
Why must i get affected by it?
Why can't i get this feeling out of me?
Why,why,why..........

I seems to realized all my actions this few days but sometimes also still show attitude to some pupils as because of my own reasons that i think now only one person who know about it and don't really matter. Tomorrow, i am so gonna wear the baju kebaya with think black jeans straight to school for the very first time but doesn't matter. I also did my DNT work about the topic is "IDEATIONS" and I'm only done with one which I'm supposed to do ten ideations but of course my partner gonna do five and I'll do five to so it is fair...

Not a good start...

2009-06-30T21:27:00.005+08:00

Early morning wake up my head quite pain and really thought i will be fine. While in the bus on my way to school it is really not a good start of the day seriously, as there's a man look like in his fifty or more i don't know but what i am sure not happy about is that he cough soo many times and didn't even bother to cover his mouth and he sit damn near to me!=_= Now i got fever or in fact HIGH fever! Hais...i want go school tomorrow leh...

In school everyday must take temperature twice a day, today I'm surprised by my temperature i took like four time and its still the same more than 37.6'C. It took me few minutes to tell my form teacher about it as i don't want to go down and been quarantine but it's a very irresponsible act so i told her. I'm surprised that my temperature is high because i seldom fall sick and normally once i fall sick I'll have a very very high fever and that's totally bad just like now. While I sit down at the canteen the new VP in my school keep monitoring my temperature and i keep telling him I'm fine and want to go back to class. At last, i made it! After drinking bottles of water my temperature is down and the new VP was like keep taking my temperature and i was like wondering why i asked and he told me that because my temperature suddenly get down till very low. Amazing!=)

Just now when i reach home can't deny it that i do feel a bit weak and i put my bag a side take towel put cool water and keep rubbing it on my face and neck. I seriously want to go school tomorrow and honestly i never skip school ever since i in sec1 but think this year i skip school one day and that's like my first time. I keep taking my temperature just now and it's getting higher, my first temperature was like...38.5'C and even i took few times it is still the same! Now i am still taking my temperature and will keep monitoring my own temperature till i am really feeling better, my temperature is down and my condition allow me to go school tomorrow...=)

Marina Barrage

2009-06-21T18:13:00.007+08:00

Today morning went to Marina Barrage for the guides thing, took mrt to Marina Bay then took the shuttle service there. Reach there i walk to the mayflowersec booth, theres Mrs. Ess and some other students helping out there, also the choir group that performed, they sang three songs i manage to watch the first song as i got to look for someone named "Elizabeth" the officer there and lastly some of mayflower students that join the dragon boat competition and they get the last place but it's ok as it is good efforts. Well done guys!

So am suppose to be there by 11am but i reach there an hour earlier and even took some pictures there. Actually, me and another guy, we're there to learn how to be guides for Marina Barrage as what been told by Mdm Suhaila this morning when i message her. I can't find Elizabeth till some of them from the Singapore Polytechnic distributed our lunch and there i see Elizabeth. Been told to have our lunch first and then to contact her, we went to the gallery and my gosh it is damn interesting, the place inside are very beautiful, it was awesome and after that theres some guides from Singapore Polytechnic i guess.

They show and tell us, basically everything about Singapore in the past and also a head in future from now. Their information are somehow useful and clear and after all not so bad i do learned more about Singapore History like the river, what are gonna happen at different areas etc,etc... The place was awesome and once you go there you will definitely love it and think only if you are interested in history of Singapore. Next we will have another training with them not sure when but they will email to our teacher in-charge and i am definitely looking forward to it. It's a great opportunity!=)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
New Bag!
Today is fathers day well, nahh...nothing much to talk about it or even this topic. Well, my mum bought 15durians and KFC for us especially my grandfather. Just now meet my mum at Chong Pang then was damn tired to as i'm not enough sleep, feeling very lazy and as we walk i saw a bag that got my eyes to it and my very first bag that the colour is blue! My favourite colour and normally when i buy bags it will always be black this time i choose blue and i bought with my own money leh..hehe...

Front.

Side.

Table-Tennis

2009-06-18T00:41:00.002+08:00

Yesterday had competition at Table-Tennis Association in Toa Payoh and at about 4:30pm meet up with Jasmine, Hui Li and others at Toa Payoh BreadTalk. I'm supposed to play with someone called "Liao Fang"? I think...but she didn't turn up and so it consider i won. But to me i don't really feel good because it's not by my own efforts and i am sure if the person turn up she will get to go to the next round and it is the same thing for Hui Li her opponent didn't turn up. Well, at first we was like damn nervous can! Then we play among us, it was fun whenever i play table-tennis but last week when we have cca in school somehow i don't feel like going but now i think i get that feeling of going again...

Today my match start at 3:00pm was quite nervous to but keep telling myself just go there and have fun, also learn from mistakes though at first i know that i will definitely lose and guess i will never win in table-tennis because I'm simply sucks at it... Oops... supposed to be positive...haha... Hmmm...sometimes no matter how positive we are, we also can be negative at times but also can try hard to keep ourselves positive to. So, about the match obviously i lose but Jasmine said i played quite well to but its ok, it's a great learning experience...

Is This True Happiness?

2009-06-11T22:36:00.007+08:00

I do feel a bit of happiness today i guess... Whenever I'm with you, i feel very happy and always smiling. Even when I'm having problems, feeling very frustrated, very stress, stuff like that but whenever i see you, around you, talking to you about everything i feel really good and happy because i get to talk to you even if it is just a few minutes i am happy about it. Today, you made the smile on my face, till now i am still smiling and feel a bit of happiness. Thanks for making the smile on my face today.=)

You're everything to me...
You're the one that i trusted the most in my Life,
You're the one who i always can talk to and cry on,
You're the one that always understand me the most,
You're the one who made me who i am today,
You,You,You....
Everything is you...
No words can describes you...

I shall end this post with what i sometime tell my loved ones.

When changes come to us we tend to let go a few things,
But even if i got soo many changes in my Life.
No change can ever made me forget you...

Leadership Dicovery Course 2009!

2009-06-03T22:50:00.018+08:00

After having one to two days of dry-run finally we have our actual today. Early in the morning wait for all primary schools to come and welcoming time. It been delay as some schools came late but its OK as after all each and everyone of us enjoy ourselves very much including the teachers from respective schools. After almost all the schools are seated, settle down, we had the welcoming session from the main comm, the rest of the student leaders from our very own school and also the teachers adviser.

The students and the teacher was extremely great! We get along quite fast and really had fun with all of them though actually the night before i was very stress, upset, after all they made my day and give me a smile. Thanks a lot Punggol Primary for making a smile and laughter on my face, you guys are great.=)

Here are some of the pictures we took.

The nine young leaders from Punggol Primary.
After lunch the teacher suggested to take pictures together.

Where they as a young leaders cooperate, taking the initiative to lead, give instructions, opinion to one another and even though some of them do blame one another in the end i am satisfied because they do realized that as a leader they shouldn't blame instead they should encourage one another.

Yes, i can't deny it that some of them are very quiet and they must really improve themselves because as a leader they also must know how to communicate well with people around them. I am very proud of each and everyone of them!=)

Their cooperation, focus, the mindset that they know they can do it and nothing is impossible even though they fail many times they just know they can do better next time round. What they got there is a cup of water onto a CD as shown and that is not their first cup of water. Well, in the end they did it, they are just a great leaders and understand whatever we're trying to tell them about leadership.
Well done Punggol Primary!!

Responsibilities

2009-06-02T22:21:00.001+08:00

I feel that i got too many responsibilities, too many things to do at one go and to listen to people around me. I feel very weak now, not sure what should i do and feel like wanna go far far away from all this but where can i run to. I know nothing will solve and nothing helps if i run away from all this, you're totally right Ms.Oh. I feel very tired of all this, i try my best to be a good student leader in school but when it come with too many responsibilities i really can't take it. I seriously need a break badly.

Sometimes i just don't understand why must i do something that i don't like and that thing is not really important and i can't do something i like which i think it is more important as it is my responsibility. I am seriously very stress, frustrated about it and i don't what should i do now. All this is confusing me that i don't know what is the best choice for me at this point of time. I feel like no one that i can turn to or maybe that is absolutely wrong theres some pupils out there that i can turn to but those pupils, i didn't see them everyday and i don't want to go up to them once a while and tell them my problems that i am feeling very stress. But instead i want to bring joy, laughter and happiness to them that's what i want.

Honestly, everything made me feel like i want to quit as a SL but i also know it is impossible and i also know that i can't just run away from my responsibilities just like that, just because i am feeling stress at this moment. Someone told me if i really feel i got too many responsibilities then i should talk to my SL teacher but another hand is that SL must be prepare for all the responsibilities given. After three years being SL am i really gonna just stop here? I don't have the feel like last time anymore.

I mean, i always stay in school very late almost everyday, help out with whatever i can and not even feel bored staying in school everyday. But now, everything is like a big change, all that feelings in me is gone and i don't know why. I don't know how do i ever get that feelings again as for now really everything is totally gone. GONE!!

Sec1s Selection Camp

2009-05-30T22:13:00.003+08:00

Last Thursday and Friday in school we had our sec1s selection camp 2009. I am the mentor I/C with Syamim mentor AI/C and Jovin mentor helper actually that don't really matter as all of us are in one team.=) It was very enjoyable, fun working with both of them as they are seriously very hyper and so the three of us are very hyper for that two days one night camp. So many things have happened during the camp and i am still very happy after everything.

The three of us in-charge of group six and we're really looking forward to know each and everyone of them from group six. First start, to get to know each other name, class and CCA, it took me quite some time to remember each and everyone of their names. As mention so many things have happened and i also do learned some things from this camp.

Actually, since morning till afternoon we the mentors of group six do feel disappointed of them as we try our best to get ourselves hyper and as well to get them feel the same way. But, their attitude simply show us that this camp is boring to all of them and we the mentors also did not even see that they're communicating to each other, having the initiative, during the morning to afternoon activities and as a mentor I/C i am absolutely unhappy about it and so i decided to talk to all of them. The other two mentors also told me that they're feeling very pissed off and unhappy so i told them not to worry as i already talk to them.

I was expecting them to show some improvement but there's no improvement at all. As we move on with the activities and there's some delay in between i bring them a side and talk to them again and also told them what their other two mentors feel about them and about their attitude. So in the late afternoon they finally show a big improvement and i feel super happy. From there they continue to communicate well with each other and even take initiative. They really finally show us their potential as a leader in future and i believe they can be a great leader as well as a role model. Really had a great time with all of them... Well done group six!=)

Break

2009-05-25T22:43:00.003+08:00

It been three years I'm in mayflower secondary and so many things have happened and of course if i can reset, turn the time back i will definitely do it. I would want to turn back to my very first day of school in mayflower to start a better life, but all that is just a wish that will never ever come true. Never ever come true!

Since last few weeks i don't know why but the feeling of being very odd in life every time appear. Whatever in my mind, what I'm thinking sometime of myself is being odd. That feeling is absolutely hurt me sometime and whenever I'm feeling that way at any time i keep telling myself to control it, it is just my imagination.

I may be weak in my studies and in a normal technical stream but am i that bad?
Studies may be improve and it is never too late right... Why normal technical sometime must only be with all the other normal technical instead from other stream. Now i just waiting for June holidays because, I need a break!

Sometimes things just happen with or without we realize it and sometimes when we realized it we're actually doing it because of our own personal reason even if it hurts our loved ones. I realized sometimes i choose to behave in one kind that actually i know some people that know me just won't like and unhappy with it but i have my own reason for that. In our life is full of misunderstanding.

Love

2009-05-24T23:46:00.001+08:00

What is Love?
How strong Love can be?
How strong can we Love someone?

And it's all about our Love towards our loved ones no matter where they are and what are they doing right now. To me love is also a strong word because since we was very young we been love by people around us and when we now an well grown up teenagers we learn how to love and give love to others. Through the love we learn the pain, sacrifices, care, concern and lot lots more.

When we love someone no matter who they're, what position they're in our life, most importantly is that we do love them and when something happen that we don't expected for we just got to face it even if it hurt us. So many things about love to talk about and i think it will never end.

To me, when we get to know someone and day after day we get a long with that person, again no matter who they're, what position they're in our life, after knowing them for quite sometime and sacrifices happen between us, next is love that we will feel from the heart. Happiness come towards our life and we feel that whenever we're with this person we feels very happy. At the same time we also want her/him to feel happy just like how we're feeling.

Sometime we love a person so so much that we don't want them to get hurt, to feel sad, feel disappointed of us, things like that and all we want is to see them happy because their happiness is our happiness to. But actually, she/he is the first person to get hurt, feel sad, feel disappointed because of us and that's because they also do love us, it just that the love towards us from them is not the same as how we love them, sometime. I rather be hurt than others to be hurt. Even if it hurts me so so much i really don't mind because their happiness is my happiness to.

Mid-Year-Exams Results

2009-05-20T14:13:00.002+08:00

I get my results yesterday and really feel very upset about my results this time. Especially for Math and DNT, i failed badly for almost everything and out of six subjects i only passed two subjects. This mid-year-exams really means alot to me but yet i do badly for it and i know i must not give up though yesterday after get my DNT paper i do feel like give up but tell myself that it's not the end of my life and I'm not gonna give up.

"A Failure is only When they Give UP."

I really don't know how to face my mum and tell her i do badly for my exams this time. Yesterday, after get all my results i look at my mum's picture in my wallet i almost tears but i control myself, tell myself to be strong and keep going. Even now when I'm typing i do feel like crying and i know even if i cry, keep thinking of the failure side. Nothing will change.

Sometimes i think why, why must people look down on Normal Technical?
Is NT people that bad, are we useless, stupid and that's why people think that way?
No matter what we're still humans.

I will definitely focus more for my next exams and do better for it. I don't want to let my loved ones down and feel upset esp my mum. She got a very high expectations and hope of me i must not let her down. So many things happen in my life and day after day i get more and more mature. I know what exactly i should do.

MFSS BBQ

2009-04-17T23:31:00.002+08:00

Today at about 1plus went home to get change, rest for a while and went back to school reach at about 5plus. I played table tennis for a while in the hall and at about 6plus i went down to help out with the BBQ. Then took pictures taken by Phaedra post there and here. Really enjoy myself and of course i'm super tired now as i reach home at about 10:45pm feel very sleepy...

This year we had Chef for the BBQ foods, also yogurt and this year also most of the Alumni are back to join the fun. As i walking around with Chanel then saw someone, chase her up to the staffroom and of course i'm happy to see her. Aiyo...this year she's cool man...want anything just say it out don't need to ask but just order it... Hahaha... ;) She's soo cute ah..Dunn need to act!=D

So serve her some foods, drink, chit chat, lot lots of fun! Mr. Iszal's baby is damn cute, sorry can't remember the name, i get the chance to carry him so happy, the baby put his right hand in to his mouth and then the baby touch my face of course my face got water from his mouth. Haha...but its ok course his just too cute...

At the end of the day, eat some foods, help to pack up and i play "Lame" jokes with Ms. Joanne Li and she whack me for that...haha.. She told me that i'm super lame but what to do i am lame... Hahaha... I went to the satffroom to Ms. Suhaila's table chit chat with her about some stuff then home sweet home. Chanel & myself walked from school to Ang Mo KIO MRT station. After all its all not bad and well done!!=)

My 15th Birthday!! 14th April!

2009-04-15T00:05:00.010+08:00

Time pass very fast with or without me realizing and right now today I'm already 15years old!! That's how fast time pass and me, hoping to achieve all my goals, really wanna learn new things in future and be more mature. When i think again about the pass, about my life 14years ago, i guess day after day i'm getting more and more mature. In fact some girls from my class or schoolmate will find me if there's any problem that they're facing and i really don't mind at all. I will always help them as long as first they must want to help themselves. Now a days i've been keep telling friend of mine all the positive sentence and from there i find that it also reminding myself and shows how mature i am.

So, in school trying to run away from some pupils that wants to punch me 15times just because today is my 15th birthday and i get the chance to run away from them... Pheww....or else my both arms will be "blue black" but instead now my back blue black! Thanks to Sheryl Lynn Gasper!! Most of them wish me, some msg, some wish me by facebook and some give me present. I really appreciate all that very much and feels very happy...=)

After school at 3:30pm got to go for CCA as normal just that been punch twice by "King Kong" as earlier on after recess she and her Good friend really chase around school by then glad my subject teacher came at the right timing. About 5plus Chanel came by the staircase near to staffroom while me waiting for mwc then after CCA we went to toa payoh walk around took pictures till about 8:30pm. While we walking around Chanel was so so clumsy that she fall down 3-4times straight and i really can't stop laughing and till now while typing i'm still laughing.(So sorry chanel, i just can't stop laughing! And ya watch your steps ya..hahaha...=P) Guess we really had fun, enjoy ourselves very much, lots of chit chat and OF COURSE all the really "Lame" jokes with really super lame pupils!! Hahaha...=D

"Thanks Everyone for all the wishes and blessings!!"

Actions speak louder than words...

2009-04-11T00:03:00.004+08:00

The very first time i feel soo proud and for the first time i feel soo disappointed of them. Never in my life feel soo proud and disappointed like this before. I'm really happy at first and thought there will be changes in life but i'm wrong cause there's no change at all. Actions speak louder then words, by just talking totally not enough, when we say "I Will" its a promise and once we made a promise we shouldn't break it. We made promise to those who we love and care for and if we break the promise that we made it really gonna hurt her/him.

I'm still hoping that one day they will change, be more mature and be more discipline like how we behave in the 3d2n together. Why can't we maintain the same Attitude now? Why must we change back to the past instead to change for the better? Attitude is everything, if we're not gonna change our attitude right now it gonna be difficult for us after we leave our secondary life because "Choices have Consequences". I'm sure all of us still remember all that happen in that 3d2n and especially when most of us tears. People never cry for nothing and i'm pretty sure all that tears mean a lot to us. Why don't we apply everything to our daily life and not for just few days.

In this world no one have no problem at all but again Choices have Consequences and its all up to us how we gonna handle it. Our happiness is our choice, we choose to be happy then we will feel happy and no one can stop us from being happy. Each and everyone of us have our goals, we know what's our goals and we must start from now in order to achieve our goals.

Honestly, since last monday till today i feel soo disappointed but now quite ok as i'm still hoping the change for the better. I don't want we to disappoint those who have a high expectations of us. Yes, we're from NT so what? Lets together prove to others that we're not as bad as what they think of us. Think of our goals, go for it and always remember, Attitude is everything!=)

LIVE! Operation. Sec3 camp 2009

2009-03-28T12:19:00.009+08:00

On 25 March - 27 March 2009 is our camp at Jalan Lekar. First thought is that we gonna suffered in this camp as from what we heard from the sec4s that went to the camp last year but we're so so totally wrong because as we go on getting to know the PMs we actually enjoyed ourselves so much. In fact some of us complain to our form-teacher that we want to go home because we really thought we will have military camp.

The first day of camp we start to know our two PMs that in-charge of my class they're PM Ah Hao and PM Mabel. When we're on our way to Jalan Lekar i guess we're also feeling very excited about this camp and as we reach we put down our bags at our bed where we will be sleeping. Our PMs told us we're going to carry on with our first activity it is the "Postman Walk" when we saw what is Postman Walk all the girls from my class don't want to even try it so first few guys went while the rest give our support because before we carry on we must shout our name and our goals and if we did not control we will fall into the river. Some of us made it and even injured our hands but some fall into the river. Not even a girl want to try and PM Mabel keep on telling me, encourage me to go and she say it like three times,(Thanks for your support PM Mabel) then next Ms. Suhaila and my classmate give me their support and i be the first girl in class to go for it and i made it to the end.=) On the same day there's 4 of us been chosen as private they're, Jin Hao, Jeremy, Dominic, myself and it also will be pass on to others that our PMs decide.

In this camp there's a lot of activities that we must do it together as a class and I'm very proud of my classmate because through this camp i can see that my classmate, we really support one another, we cooperate and most importantly we're so so discipline. Hope that we can apply this in school and pass this message to the other 12pupils that didn't go for this camp.

The second day early morning we do pity and Success clap if i'm not wrong we did up to 1100. After that we went down to the HQ for our breakfast then we continue with our next activities. After a few activities there's an activity which all of us including PM Ah Hao, PM Mabel, Ms. Oh and Ms. Suhaila take part. Some of the girls fall down but the rest of us keep cheering for one another and still made it. I belief each and everyone of us bring something back after this camp. When its time for all of us to get shower and have our dinner 4 of us from every classes been chosen again. This time our PMs choose Ling Yi, Jeremy, Dominic, myself and we been told to write down our goals in future and do a mental physical training for 55Min's but we made it to 1hr something like that. Then we went for jogging for quite far distance then my left ankle hurt and i stop for awhile but Jeremy and Ling Yi support me from the back shouting for me. Thanks guys!=)

The third day its time for us to clean all the place but Ah Hao told us we can slack and we chit chat with each other. Our lovely PM Mabel brought us something again, its a chocolate, about 9plus we must be back at HQ and settle down. We also had appreciation session where we write whatever we want and give it to them. I wrote for PM Ah Hao, PM Mabel, Ms. Oh, Ms. Suhaila, i give to Ms. Oh first and i saw her crying i can't stop myself but i also cry. After the appreciation we move a side and took pictures together then while Ms. Suhaila wanted to tell us something she also cry and almost the whole class cry to.

When we reach in school we're supposed to gathered for one last time but most of us don't know so they just left. I saw my junior class 1Formidable most of them crying and one of the girl just came up to me and hug me. Its really a very touching day that so many "water coolers" around and i end my camp day in school hugging my lovely PM Mabel and PM Suhaila. Love and miss you guys so much! The memories we had together will always be remembered.=)

Love,
Kay

After soo long...

2009-03-20T23:27:00.002+08:00

It have been a very very long time since my last post in 2008 and here i am with my first post in 2009!=) So many things had happen this year, now that term one is ending soon and i really gonna start the term two with a positive one, will try hard to be a better person and really try very hard to study harder. Well, this year i'm very happy with my results but will still try harder to get better results in future.

and glad to see her again after so long. I saw her and i can tell she's feeling down very sad, discourage, i ask her what happen, she just can't take it and cry while she telling me what's bothering her at that point of time. I understand exactly how she feel because i experience it before and it almost made me tears. I belief that she able to over come all that happening to her life right now and i also told her that if she need any help i will always be there anytime. So, i walk her to the bus stop and it almost 2pm so i rush back to school so Yesterday, I'd CCA in school i should be in school 15mins before 2pm but i saw my primary school best friendi'll be on time for CCA. I really hope to see her again, get to talk to her and encourage her to preserver in all that she got to face.

Then in school hall start to play Table-Tennis, this time i really gonna train very hard and will always try hard, harder in all that i'm doing from now on... Will learn how to never ever give up in life and do better in all that i'm doing!

For you Sis!

2008-12-18T01:13:00.004+08:00

Dearest Sister,

This post is specially for you and this is what i really wanna share with you.

Last few weeks kan, when i tengah buat kerje kat LJS i saw two person that really looks like you. The first person i saw, the look, the height, the way she dress up etc... Most of it really like you and when she eating with her family i tak tahu kenapa tapi i asyik tengok kan dia aje all the way then dia turn and look at me then i also turn look at other place. Bila dia dahbis makan i masih lagi buat kerje and of cause i tak leh stop buat kerje and malam tu ada ramai orang. Then nak tengok kat dia i see that she left, i was like looking for her all around then i realized and ask myself "Kenapa cari dia bila dia actually bukan Kak Kartini?".

The second person, i pon tengok dia she look macam you beh i also tell myself untuk jangan terlalu mengikutkan perasaan. Tapi orang yang pertama i betul-betul sadar dengan apa yang i nampak dan itu bukan lah hayalan. I guess i really miss you so so much and thats why this kind of feelings timbul. I juga amat faham kenapa susah sangat kita nak jumpa each other and i tahu suatu hari nanti kita pasti akan jumpa each other... InsyaAllah... The most things that i want you to know that even if i get to just see you for few seconds with or without saying anything or i get to see you for few minutes i'm still happy and appreciate it so much... Because i really miss you so so much and i can't deny it... Last but not least, Masa yang akan menentukan segala-galanya... Take Care!!=)

With lots of Love,
Kartini...

Sentosa outing

2008-12-17T00:30:00.002+08:00

Yesterday was the most relaxing and happy day. Went to Sentosa, Palawan beach with primary school friends, they're Sheilla, Shakinah, Syafiqah, Erma, Nadia for the gals and the guys Rafqi and Irsyad. Once we reach there we settle down and some of them get change as they wants to swim at the beach. But out of seven of us Sheilla and myself did not swim and we just take care of the stuff, our bags and our dearest Sheilla and Shakinah, so sweet of them to prepared some foods for us....Well, after all not the foods thats important, the most happy times is that when we spend our time together, talk to each other, the laughter, the smile etc...and especially me from the start of the day keep disturbing there and here... Haha... All that will always be remembered...

We really enjoy ourselves so much and after had lots of fun swimming in the beach they went to toilet to bath and while me and Sheilla pack up getting ready to go Vivo city for our dinner. But in the end me, Shakinah, Rafqi and Irshad, only the four of us had our dinner at banquet. After dinner Syafiqah and Nadia can't stay longer with us and both of them leave together. So left the five of us, we walk around the Vivo city and took pictures again...

We also do talk about our future, that will we still be going out together in future as we're aware that we definitely will be very busy with our own stuff when school re-open. But then, i still belief that we will still meet each other in future and its all up to us whether to still keep in touch or not... Hope that we will always keep in touch to each other and our friendship will last forever... InsyaAllah... Amin... =)

A month...

2008-11-25T22:19:00.010+08:00

Finally, i get the chance to blog and pen down whatever that i've been keeping to myself. Actually though i could tell her and share with her but it seems impossible to tell her anything ever since this holidays start. Oh well, can't blame anyone about that...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It have been a month, a month that you leave me and don't you know that its really hurts to lose our loved ones.

I love you so so much that i won't and couldn't deny that but why are you doing this to me. What happening to you and how are you right now i don't even know.

All i know is that i miss you soo much that i can't even focus in whatever i'm doing. As i'm typing this my left hand hurts...

I'm injured because i can't stop myself from thinking of you this past few days and the pain on my hand is not as pain as in my heart. I tried to accept the reality fact, i accept that although its very painful and its really hurts me.

Someone always told me to keep this faith stronger and i have learn lots of things from that someone...

Everyday when i wake up, starting my day and go on with my life, i try and try to keep this faith stronger. What should i do now?! Why do you do this to me? Its really hurts me so much...

You give me hope... You give me promises... But now, you give me empty promises and you're nowhere. I hate empty promises i hate it! You give me hope and i hope for it and i trust you but now i myself don't understand why....

I've learn something very useful

2008-11-19T19:31:00.010+08:00

Yesterday went back to school in the morning for table-tennis from 9am-12pm. When its time we pack up and gather as the two teachers in-charge had something to tell us about the camp that is postpone to next month. During the training i'm quite slack as i'm very very tired on that day and very sleepy also, so i walk around quite sometime. Then i saw "Siao jie" going to toilet, walk towards her and i say "BOO" in a very low tone. She was damn shock right away she hug me and i'm also shock cause she suddenly hug me. Haha... She so funny and cute!! =)

I leave school with Vanessa and all the way from school to the mrt we were talking about someone for very long. Hmmm...as we were talking about that someone i'm starting feeling quite sad also cause next year will be very different from last year and this year. Oh well, we really had a nice chit chat together. After that the both of us take our on way she go home and i meet Ck for lunch. We had lunch at Long John Silver at amk as we're really sick of MacDonald's and KFC most of the time meet keep on eat the same thing.

After sometime we at amkhub we went back to school as Ck have workshop at 7pm-9pm. As we walking in the security guards say that Ck is out of bound from school and one of the security guard bring her to see Om. While i was told to wait outside the general office(GO) after Om talk to her we went to the canteen to sit the we change place to level four. Both of us went down to look for MK as i need him to help me in some stuff. Then went to his table and we chit chat while he do his works after that Ck got to go for the workshop and i follow her. I end up staying back cause the teachers need my help so i stay back and help out.

I have learn something very useful and i'm glad that i had the opportunity to join in the workshop. There's mayflower ex-student that came back for this workshop as this workshop is meant for them. This workshop is about mentors and the opposite is mentes. Its about how mentors face and help their mentes that have their own problems and need help. I get to listen to all the conversation and discussion i think its really a great opportunity. After the workshop end i take the opportunity to ask some questions to one of the councilors. I would like to share about this workshop to anyone that interested to.

Then i and Ck walk to the bus stop till we're in the bus we keep on sing and dance we're like a crazy pupil. Haha...we sing the song title "That thing you do" its a song that MK and his gang use for their performance for the MF charity dinner. Oh well, i really had a nice and enjoying day...=)

Streaming result day

2008-11-10T23:13:00.006+08:00

Today went back to school for streaming result and helping Hartaty with her math again as she really wanna study so that's why i'm willing to help her. So, early morning was supposed to meet her at eight o'clock but she's late cause waiting for Devi who the one that very late. Then delay the timing and i waited for half and hour but i'm not angry at her. Just that unhappy that she's not on time and anyway she's the one who gonna sit for the test so to me its all up to her to decide for her future. After waited for 30min's Sheryl and her dad came over so had breakfast with them and rush to school as its gonna rain heavily. Sheryl go for her follow-up thingy and i go meet the two girls that's very late.

The three of us went up to the library and i help Hartaty with her math. I explain to her which ever questions that she don't know how to do and don't understand. Then i think of a few questions and tell her to do it so that i know she understand whatever i explain to her. I think that's what normally my form-teacher cum math teacher do whenever we had a small group of remedial. Just do as what i think i should do and follow her patten also. Hehe... :) Then its almost time for us to go for the streaming talk and result. So we pack up then go out of the library to the venue for the streaming talk and after everyone settle down.

The teachers brief us and there's a paper which we need to sign and from that paper we also know we go to which class and which subjects will we be taking next year. So i'll be in 3Creative and be taking D&T and EBS next year. Most of the pupils are posted to 3C next year and my class gonna be the biggest class ever i guess. Also think next year my form teacher will be a male teacher and everything will be very different from the past. Hais....so sad that next year won't be the same as the past two years... But in the other hand i'm glad it won't be the same so that i don't have to see whatever happens from the past to years again. Honestly it really hurts me and its like a nightmare to me cause all that happens in the past two years happen again when i'm in sec2's beginning of the year. Now that everything gonna be very different i must try to get use to it... :)

Confused!

2008-11-08T00:14:00.007+08:00

Today i really forgot that there's some activity held at Padang which i have to go to then my friend call me and told me about it. Well, its not a good start also cause i don't wanna go for it but there's one of the staff tell me to go home if i don't wanna go for the activity and also told me that there's not enough pupil and yet i'm around but don't wanna go. I really feel so so guilty and at the same time i didn't inform my mum about that activity as i totally forgot about it. So decided to just go after thinking about it and went to general office (GO) to call my mum and let one of the male teacher talk to her and explain everything about the activity.

While we in the bus i was not in the mood and its really got nothing to do with anyone of them but its because i've been feeling like that for the past few days. Till today and right now i'm still feeling the same and i'm trying to let that feeling out from me. Its not that i'm unhappy with anyone of them or angry but i don't blame them cause maybe my action makes you pupil think that way. On Monday will be my streaming and my first day of ********. Which mean next year i won't and can't be like last year, this year, i can't help so much and give my full time in school's activities and also can't volunteer for anything that doesn't involve me.

Although next year i gonna be busy for lots of stuff i will always try my very best to put my studies and school things first. I'm sure some of the pupils in school will be wondering why i'm so busy that some of the activities i've to cut down but no matter what i can't tell those pupils my reasons. I think its really not nice if those pupils find out and i know one day they will find out about it but hopefully not from me but they know by themselves.

I was so confused of myself yesterday that i also can't understand why. After the whole thing at Padang we gather at the same place and there's a groups of Malay guys singing and they hit one of my school teacher (CCPE) and just keep singing don't even bother to apologise and i was staring at them as i'm really unhappy with their behaviour. Then my senior ask me who are they and i answer her out loud and just told her "Some outsides that's really very Rude!"

I'm so angry and after i claim myself i ask myself why am i so angry just because they hit her, the teacher when she herself didn't say anything about it. I'm confused cause i'm not only angry, unhappy but i'm also get so agitated at that point of time. When actually beginning of the day i had a small conflict with her. Hope there's someone out there can help me by explaining this confusing thing to me...

Gosh...

2008-11-02T00:24:00.005+08:00

Bastard!! What the hell you want from me...

I had enough from you and how many times do you wanna hurt me...

All the things you do its really irritating and i really Hate it!

Why can't you just get the hell out of my Life!

You're just a Bastard that very...
Irritating, Don't know how to appreciate, a big Liar and worse you're Heartless!

I don't know what the hell you want from me, can't you just stop your nonsense...

Without telling anyone and that including MC and MS...

I actually already feeling of forgiving you and you do it again!

After few months i start to feel forgiving you again and i don't know why i'm feeling like that...

But still you do it again and this time i can't take it anymore!

I Hate you, i don't wanna hear anything about you or even see you!

No more and its enough, enough of all this nonsense!

Nonsense from you that i have been facing since last year...

For You I Will

2008-11-01T00:00:00.003+08:00

When you're feeling lost in the night
When you feel your world just ain't right
Call on me, I will be waiting
Count on me, I will be there
Anytime the times get too tough
Anytime your best ain't enough
I'll be the one to make it better
I'll be there to protect you, see you through
I'll be there, and there is nothing, I won't do

[Chorus]
I will cross the ocean for you
I will go and bring you the moon
I will be your hero, your strength
Anything you need
I will be the sun in your sky
I will light your way for all time
Promise you, for you I will

I will shield your heart from the rain
I won't let no harm come your way
Oh these arms will be your shelter
No these arms won't let you down
If there is a mountain to move
I will move that mountain for you
I'm here for you, I'm here forever
I will be your fortress, tall and strong
I'll keep you safe, I'll stand beside you, right or wrong

[Chorus]

For you I will, lay my life on the line
For you I will fight, hmmm, for you I will die
With every breath, with all my soul
I'll give my word, I'll give it all
Put your faith in me
And I'll do anything

[Chorus]
Promise you, for you I will

Sadness...

2008-10-18T23:02:00.006+08:00

Gosh... Today i feel soo...sad, emotional and like a crazy girl. I don't know what will happen to me in future and as for today i went to tpy to make my spectacle. As i'm walking around the tpy central i keep on think about her and her all the while. I'm really worried about her but also trying to tell myself she will be fine. I ask her by msn but she never reply and few minutes later she offline. Hais...but nevermind think she should be okay. I really don't know what should i do, lots of things on my mind, lots of things happening but i'm still trying very hard to hang on...

Although all this really hurts me so so much but i know i still have to face all this... I don't know how to react when school re-open and to even face all the people around me in school. When we makes a person happy we will feel happy to and that is what most of the time i do and want to do. But now, can i even do all that, how can i help them, help others in need when i can't even help myself...

After choose my spectacle i went to amk to meet Ck, Ljs, his cousin and cousin friend. We went to play pool and from there i feel like a true human after feeling so so dead. Had fun playing and well me and Ck we're Noob in it but well as we go on playing we getting better. So i had fun with them and at least cheer myself up but also that night i'm still thinking of her. I just can't get her out of my mind and its really difficult. The more i try to get her out of my mind and more i think of her. Hmmm...its really hard to get someone who we feel attached to, to get out of our mind, heart and soul...

Bad Day

2008-10-17T23:42:00.005+08:00

I don't know what's wrong with myself and this few days i seems to not or even realized what i'm doing. Its really a bad days for me especially yesterday when my phone been confiscated. Its already end of year and all the more i should help her and not give her more trouble. What the hell happening to me! Yesterday when she told me to help her do something, i help and make a mistake.

It shows how lousy and sux i am... After one of the incident how am i gonna go on with my life, i feel so so down, sad , tired, lousy, sux and discouraged!! I'm just useless! After all this i call and name myself as an Student Leaders Board! What kind of a leader i am! I really don't know what to do already, how long can i take it and i don't even know how to react now. Its really complicated and its always complicated. I look at her and i know she's very tired cause i heard she have not been sleeping well. I wanted to ask her is she ok at that point of time but i don't know why its very difficult for me to say out and ask. So i continue do what she told me to do and just keep everything to myself...

It's pathetic

2008-10-15T21:02:00.009+08:00

Haiz...i really don't know what to do everything is pathetic...

What is it that i don't know?!

What is it that i don't understand?!

What is it about friendship and relationship?!

I experienced it before, i gone true all this before and how can i don't understand... Even when i don't understand it, i'll try to understand. Yes! Its hard and not easy to say out what's happening... I've try my best to always be there, to understand and do anything. But at the end of the day i'm still a human and have feelings to... Everything that happen is not what i want and nobody want it to be like this and i don't blame anyone. Why must all this happened, i'm so so tired about all this... I'm feeling very tired and discouraged... What should i do now, i'm really confused... I am very upset and worry bout my result, i can't hide or pretend that i'm happy when i'm not. Its natural if i feel very sad bout my result cause my result will shape my future and how can i don't feel upset about it when my result to me is bad...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As i'm typing this i can't stop myself from tears... Its hurtful whenever to face this kind of situation but what can i do seeing her like that hurts me soo much. Well, this is also something that i must learn how to accept the situation cause its all her job. I'm just a normal girl and can't do anything bout it cause i'm just helpless in it. But of cause no matter what happen i'll always be by her side if she need my help. I'll always be happy to help her and hope to see her more relax after all the examinations....

Korean people came to school

2008-10-10T22:58:00.013+08:00

Today the Korean people came to my school basically to know more bout Singapore education, bout our school. Was in school bout 9am, went up to the studio put my things there. Then one of the male teacher told one of my senior to take video while the Korean people, my school principle, vice-principle and some of the teachers in the conference room. So told him that i wanna follow my senior then we went down to the conference room took video and another male teacher, he taking pictures then ask me to help him with it cause he got something else to do. After all the conversations, they walk around the school and i took pictures there and here everywhere they go to. In order for me to take more pictures of them i have no choice but to run everywhere. Its very tiring but well, i enjoy it so so much.. :) Then the last place we went to the library to have lunch and all staff was there to welcome the Korean people. While i'm still taking pictures as they came into the library,take their foods and while they eating to. At that point of time "she" was standing right in front of me while i'm sitting. She turn look at me and gave her very sweet smile...Haha.. :p I told her that at last i see her smile, cause from the beginning i saw her she seems to be quite busy preparing and helping there and here for the foods to be serve to the Korean people, our principle, vice-principle and staff....

Saturday, 4th Octorber

2008-10-05T23:18:00.007+08:00

Its a day that really makes me feel soo happy cause all my plan go on pretty well. Hopefully this year will be the most memorable birthday celebration for "you" and really hope you feel very happy bout all that happen on 4th october, i'm so so happy for you... :) I'll never forget everything that had happened between us in the past whether its the bad time or the good and happy time with you.. May all the happy times that i had with you will last long till the day i'm there in another world. I do really appreciate all that you had done and also appreciate having you in my life. Everything is getting better and i'm feeling happy about it... Now the most important is my EOY must really hundred percent focus for all the subjects especially math i must not let "you" down... Well, just hope that i'll pass my math and also other subjects as this is my streaming year...

Apportunity

2008-09-28T23:40:00.007+08:00

Last week talk to her and have no choice but to tell her everything if not she say don't talk to her... Sigh... Hmmm...she surprise me by saying that i must tell her everything if not don't talk to her and of cause i need to talk to her also feel touch by that sentence... She makes me think that i'm important to her that i must tell her everything but am i important? It doesn't matter anyway as long as i know that she's important to me that's enough. So i told her everything and feel like there's nothing else in my life that i keep from her... Well i don't mind telling her everything anyway, cause i trust her and that's why she know everything bout me...

Now i don't know what's wrong with myself, my life... Last few days seems to be very pathetic and it makes me feel like wanna give up... But when i think of her and what she told me in past makes me still standing around people. Then there's the 3rd person, another woman came to my life and started to talk to her bout what happen recently. I did not tell her exactly what happen cause most probably just don't want her to be worry and don't wanna tell her bout all the bad or sad things... Think everything that had happen last few days is all because of my own attitude and i must do something with that... Hmmm...everything is just pathetic this days or maybe i'm the one who pathetic... Can't blame anyone but myself...

Wednesday,24th September

2008-09-24T23:13:00.003+08:00

I don't know what should i do or react. I try hard to control my emotions today in class and it took me for quite sometime to relax myself. I was trying to control myself and can't be bothered to do other things cause i was really concentrate telling myself to relax... At the same time i did not do whatever i should do for (CE) lessons, its not that i don't want to do but its just that i'm trying to control myself, my emotions. I really can't take it anymore, i can't bear to see her like that but what can i do and again i'm just helpless... That's when i feel, think that i've make another person feel unhappy by my behaviour... As i'm trying very hard to control myself, i can't take it and just starts to cry...

I know and realized that i had done something really wrong last weekend and i've hurt the person that i love. I also know that she feel so hurt by my action and my behaviour... I guess this the biggest mistake i ever done in my life and i will never do it again... I don't want to hurt people around me and especially if that person is my loved ones... Why is all this happening to me... Why is my happiness end so fast and problem, sadness take place... Just hope any of this days i can talk to her if she got time...

Saturday,20th September

2008-09-21T21:54:00.008+08:00

I went out with senior to study at amk from 2plus and i was supposed to reach home before 10pm. I meet her at the amk library but there's no space for us to study in the library. About 7pm went to the middle of amk field near to the condo to watch the sunset, having fun, being super lame and took pictures. Then went to banquet to have dinner and after that we went to mac to study again. Around 915pm decided to go home cause its quite late, we pack then walk to the mrt and by the time we reach the mrt its about 930pm. We was being super lame especially to "you and ur enjoyment" keep on talk about the enjoy. Haha... So the day is just fine all the way up to 940pm i took mrt and senior, she walk home.

While i'm in the train msg my mum to inform her that i'm on the way home but she was unhappy that i'll be late which is i'll be reaching home after 10pm. Well, i know its my mistake but at least i inform her that i'll be late and i only will be late for about 10-15mins not 1hour. Hmmm...that's the night that i never expected something bad will happen and something that i never dream of i'll do such a thing, something that i just can't say it out. Now i'm just feeling soo sad and not sure, dunno whatever i had done last night is the right thing to do or the wrong thing but i guess its the wrong thing to do. But at that point of time i also dunno what to do already was feeling very sad and stress to... Hais...seriously dunno what gonna happen to my life in future and now just can't stop crying... I know that i can't let this matter effect my studies but this time round its really hard to get it out of my mind as this is a very serious thing i ever made... Why must i always be like this...when i started to be positive something "whacked" me down to the ground again and it really hurts.... Lastly...

To the two of "you"...

Just wanna really thank you both for being by my side when i need the support. Thanks for all the support and everything that you guys have given me, i really appreciate it...Without the both of you i really don't know and can't imagine what's gonna happen to me, to my life. Also have a great time with you guys, all the lame jokes and the enjoyment... Haha... Will never forget those times when we're together... Thank You so so much!! :) Smile!

It hurts...

2008-09-17T21:38:00.004+08:00

As i'm typing, its hard for me to stop my tears... I really don't know what to do... It hurts me so so much to hear bad things like gossips bout the both of them... Although i know all that gossips is not true but it still hurts me soo much to hear all that, again & again and Again!! Sign...

I'm not strong to hear all that...whenever i heard gossips bout them i will always feel soo hurts and will speak up to those who talk bad things bout the both of them. Last time i did not do that cause i think its not true so why must i respond but now...i can't take it anymore, day after day more and more bad gossips bout them... Sigh... Hmmm... Don't know what to do...i know i'm just helpless. Helpless! Helpless!!... All i want is to see them happy but well i know all this is part of life... I belief at the end of the day they both will be just fine, today also no mood and never eat at all... Hmmm...think now should just relax my mind or else will get bad headache again... Well after all, its normal if i feel worry bout them...

Saturday,13th September

2008-09-13T23:51:00.004+08:00

I went to polyclinic this morning to check what's wrong with my left eye and ear... Cause i had headache last few days and its affecting my left eye and ear. Now my left ear is ok but my left eye, still in pain and after i break my fast i ate the medicine and its soo bitter... I only take the medicine when i'm having headache, the doctor say that maybe i get headache cause i'm feeling stress... Hmmm...but dun think i'm feeling stress right now, maybe its because during the one week holiday one of the day i'm soo stress and get headache. I feel so so tired and sleepy now, early in the morning straight the way go to polyclinic... Glad that nothing serious after all, just need to eat the bitter medicine and don't need to go for X-tray... I reach around 8plus and waited for quite long to see the doctor and to get the medicine... Hmmm...so sleepy better get some rest now so tomorrow got the energy to continue my fasting...

Wednesday,3rd September

2008-09-08T01:40:00.005+08:00

Last wednesday i went to school for maths remedial in the morning started at 9am and end around 10plus. After remedial i went out with three of the girls from my class til around 1plus and then i meet my senior and walk around amk til 8plus. On that day actually i'm not feeling well but don't wanna go home so hang out with my senior... When i wanna leave already, contact my mum and meet her... Glad that at the end of the day i went home with my mum cause my condition was very very bad. Reach home i was like zombie, feeling very cold,straight the way lie down and sleep. I was so tired but had a nice day out with senior so not so bad. Whatever that i had done really affect my health i guess... Hmmm...i told one of my friend what happen and after telling her everything she told me good that i'm not her sister if not she will slap me already. Hais...good that she's not my sister if not i kana slap already... Hmmm...such a caring friend i have... Haha... :p That's one of my friend haven include my senior, if she find out confirm scold me to death! Of cause not so stupid go and tell her right but she also might find out by herself one day... Just prepare to run far far away from her when she find out then...

Darkness

2008-09-02T23:35:00.004+08:00

Guess now i am in a very dark side... Hope to be shine again... Sometime it's really hurts to be in the dark and really prefer a better side... But sometime also have no choice, just can't take it and can't control it...

Teachers Day Celebration

2008-08-30T21:22:00.005+08:00

Friday,29thAugust is teachers day celebration and feeling quite sad... After the celebration went to staffroom looking for my form-teacher for the report book but can't find her. While standing outside the staffroom door one of my loved ones that i always name her as my "sweet" one came towards me. At that point of time sheryl and myself going to cry already cause two of the teachers is leaving but i'm trying not to cry then my sweet one says that she wants to cry already while she standing inside the staffroom near to the door. Then she came out from the staffroom stand right in front of me and she starts to cry... She hug me three times tightly while she's crying and told me what happen. She also told me that my co-form teacher cried when she went into the staffroom previously. Keep on telling her to stop crying while hugging her cause i just can't take it to see her crying on the day that she actually should be happy and that is the first time i see her cry. After keep on telling her to stop crying then she stop and went into the staffroom. I went back to classroom then get my report book and walk back to the staffroom. While walking to the staffroom, saw my co-form teacher then i starts to cry again at the same time keep on ask her is she okay. She told me she's okay but i can see her eyes very red and like just stop crying. She went to the toilet and i walk to the staffroom to call one of the teacher. Then i call the other three of the teachers to give them some chocolate. At that point of time i was crying and very very hard to stop my tears then the three teachers look at me as i'm crying. That's all what happened in the morning in my secondary school...

My day in the afternoon, went back to my primary school... As i'm waiting for my primary school teachers at the canteen my primary school friend Sheilla came towards me and i'm feeling very happy to see her again... :) Then we went to the canteen and have a privacy talk about each other. After talking for quite some time, i saw one of the teacher that now known as Mdm Norhafizah or Mdm Nor and i ask Sheilla to go towards Mdm Nor with me. I talk to her, ask how is she and ask for her number so that we can be more keep in touch to each other. After talking to Mdm Nor for quite some time we walk to the front gate to meet our other friends. We meet each other there's Sheilla, Shakinah, myself and many more includes some of them from sec1s this year 2008. We was so happy that at last on teachers day celebration we can gathered again at our primary school. We met our ex-teachers then even took pictures with them and one the teacher known as Ms. Adawiyah, she was so happy to see her ex-students also. Around 2:30pm we all leave the school, went to a block opposite our primary school sit under the block then chit chat at there for quite some time and took group photos. After that we went to a playground few blocks from where we are. That playground is where we as a group normally go after school last time. We spend together till around 4:30pm-5pm, when we at the playground we also keep on took pictures. Haha...so so happy to be together with them again... :) So...that's my whole day in secondary and primary schools.

Class T-shirt

2008-08-25T21:33:00.003+08:00

Today early in the morning while having silent reading in class our form-teacher give out our class t-shirt. Our form-teacher, she told us that we must be very very quiet before and after we get our class t-shirt. Then after almost whole class get the class t-shirt again almost the whole class got lot lot lots of objection about the shirt. Got the wrong size lah...why put our name and our number already still must put our class lah... Then some of them choose weird weird name.. Haha... All of them are so funny.. But the most funniest is that some of the girls got the wrong size and its super "Big". I can imagine how do they look like with the class t-shirt that is not their normal size but a bigger size. Hmmm... Maybe there will look like ______?Oops.. Hehe.. ;) Nah...I'm not that evil.. Well...what's done, is done and that is still gonna be our class t-shirt. Nothing that can be change...

The Difference

2008-08-24T14:44:00.000+08:00

I got up early one morning and rushed right into the day;
I had so much to accomplish that I didn't have the time to pray.
Problems just tumbled about me, and heavier came each task.
"Why doesn't God help me?"
I wondered,
He answered, "You didn't ask".

I wanted to see joy and beauty,
but the day toiled on grey and bleck.
I wondered why God didn't show me,
He said, " You didn't seek".
I tried to come into God's presence;
I used all my keys at the lock.
God gently and lovingly chided,
"My child, you didn't knock".

I woke up early this morning,
and paused before entering the day;
I had so much to accomplish
that I had to take time to pray.

"Right Here Waiting"

2008-07-10T15:00:00.001+08:00

It's really a meaningful song and its one of my favourite song. It's also makes someone cry when she listen to this song.. Haha.. :p This song is also for our loved ones i guess. Well, so far i've not been listening to this song for quite long... Hope to hear this song again.. :) Those sentences below is specially for a person that very special to heart. It can be anyone like people at home, firends or even people at school like teachers.. :)

"Just hearing this song... Makes me think of you..

Even in the little time we have known one another...I can't help, But care for you.

Your Heart Your Soul...And all those things you do.

But after that it gets so complicated...

You don't see it from my point of view...We are so far apart.

All the things you say...They got to me.

I know you have been through so much...And I'm always here for you if you need me.

Things were so much easier...back in the start.

All our conversations are forgotten...And arguement take their place.

I just want things back the way they were.

When I smile to see your face...

Back when We had a laugh...And I hated it when you, We're gone.

We hardly talk anymore...And it kills me to lose you like this.

I would be lost without you.."

2008-06-04T12:02:00.001+08:00

When I'm down you're there giving me the support. When i feel like giving up in life you give me precious advice and from your advice i go on with my life... I'm not affraid to say that you're half of my life. You know all bout my problems cause i feel so comfortable talking to you. Lot's of things that you have done. I won't forget all your kindness.You're the person that i always share my happiness and sadness, i share everything with you.

Day after day i feel attached to you and when i see you happy i feel happy to. I am willing to do anthing as long as you're happy even if i'll been hurt or injured. You'll always be someone important in my life and i don't want to stay away from you but if by staying away from you will make you feel happy then i guess i should stay away from you. It hurts me when i must make a choice to stay away from you but again like i say i will stay away from you if that will make you feel happy. All i want is to see you happy but nothing else... Sometime i just wish that you can tell me what you feel, your true feelings so that i can understand and even if i don't understand i will try my best to understand...

Monday, 26May

2008-05-30T16:40:00.000+08:00

Last monday 26may went to Kbox... Went there with jacelyn,phaedra,sheryl and the other two pupils. Phae and jac keep singging. Hah..guess what?? I can sing chinese song leh.. Haha... I sing english song "Everytime" with sheryl. Heez...its our current favourite song..

Getting over it

2008-05-20T15:31:00.000+08:00

Today i feel abit weird. Haha... I guess i'm getting over what i have at home. I think now school is the place where i can be happy and esp when i see her happy is already making me feel super happy.. So...hope this will last long and i will keep happy always in school esp with her!

To my beloved...

2008-05-19T20:53:00.001+08:00

Everytime i was down you was always there giving me the support and advice.. I dunno how do i thank you. You have done so so much and i really do appreciate it.. Always be there to give me precious advice.. All i can say is i will try not to let you down. I want you to know that no matter what happen i'll never ever break all my promises to you.. I may have problem at home and will cry and be moody at times.. But i will try not to be sad and moody when i'm in school, as long as i see you happy i'll be happy too!!
So stay happy too kay... SMILES!! :)